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It is that time of YEAR! The weather is changing. Kids are back in school. People are gathering in closed spaces and cooties abound. Yes, even in the dojo. ESPECIALLY in the dojo.
Thing is. Kids are seriously cute. Sign your kid up for Jiu Jitsu and the cuteness factor just increases two hundred million percent.
Don’t argue. It’s science. PROOF HERE.
Then, when your kids are in Jiu Jitsu, they like to make friends. Or, in my son’s case, I think one of his classmates claimed him as her future husband…which totally works for me because HELLO? She does Jiu Jitsu so she’s a keeper.
But, let’s face it, Jiu Jitsu often involves a lot of this…
And YES I KNOW I have way more pics of the little kids and the girls and that is because trying to take pics of the bigger boys grappling? How do we put this? Ever see the outtakes where the poor cameraman is accidentally flattened by an overzealous lineman and hospitalized?
EXACTLY. And that is why y’all got a shot of them sitting. Still. Where they don’t BLUR and can’t hurt me.
Anyway. With all this Jiu Jitsu cuteness rolling around, it’s hard to believe that any one of these could be Patient Zero in a gi. These kids are so cute (especially mine), but we need to remember that they are God’s Little Petri Dishes.
I watch my kid sometimes and think I’d be safer licking a toilet than kissing him.
And the adults? We aren’t any better. We are sweating and slobbering as we grapple, spreading the Joy of Germs everywhere we go.
The common approach these days is to SANITIZE EVERYTHING. And that’s cool. Cleanliness is my thing. I am Scandinavian and Norway IS the motherland of OCD. But, I am not a huge fan of relying on anti-bacterial stuff. I like some common sense.
So FIVE TIPS to help keep you healthy this cold and flu season.
#1—Easy on the Anti-Bacterial Gels
I am not saying these are bad, but they are not a cure-all. WASHING our hands actually does a better job because it is the friction that does the best job at getting rid of the germs. So, yeah, gels when in a pinch, but good old fashioned hand-washing just can’t be beat. Wash to the tune of Happy Birthday or if your kid is like my son?
#2—Jedi Your Germs
Thing is, germs are EVERYWHERE. We need them to be everywhere or life as we know it would implode. Like the scientists benevolently kill one BAD bacteria but then they find they disrupted this chain of events because that bad bacteria was the ONLY one feeding off a bacteria no one ever knew about that made Avon Ladies foam at the mouth and eat their young and WE KILLED IT!
When science starts tinkering with things to “help”, that’s when we get a new Michael Bay movie.
It’s The FORCE. Things need to stay in balance.
Sith germs exist, but so long as the Jedi Germs abound? We’re cool.
Invest in a GOOD probiotic. Modern food doesn’t keep the Jedi germs in high enough numbers in our system. Unfortunately, if you have even REMOTELY paid attention in the last 20 years, you KNOW McDonald’s is OWNED by the Sith.
We have to actively look for things like a GOOD Greek yogurt or even a GOOD probiotic (found in the refrigerated section of Sprouts). I would recommend that you get the probiotic Gummies, but you seriously need the self-discipline of a Shaolin Monk or those are going to be the most expensive gummy bears you have ever eaten in your LIFE…and no, eating an entire jar of them in one night does NOT make you healthier.
It does, however make you poorer and sad. Very very sad.
Yes, well I drank green juice with KALE before it was cool. But now that it’s cool it is easier for you to stay healthy because I used to have to drive 30 MILES to get good, luscious, dark, awesome kale to toss in my juicer and now they sell it at Home Depot and JoAnnes Fabric store so you have NO EXCUSE.
Invest in a Vita-Mix if you can because fiber is great for keeping you healthy. It pulls toxins out of your system.
Kale is loaded in B Vitamins that we ALL NEED. Stress will burn through your Bs like a flash fire and if you don’t replenish them? You get tired, burned out and SICK. Antioxidants also act like tiny Norwegians with OCD who like to scrub your body clean of all the schmutz.
Again, don’t argue. It’s science.
Why I love kale is the body just does better getting nutrients from FOOD instead of a pill. BUT, we should all be taking a good supplement so I HIGHLY recommend vitamins by Megafoods because all the nutrients are from food and captured using cold fusion.
This means your body uses a LOT more (meaning less Technicolor pee—YES SHE WENT THERE!) and you also won’t be belching up the taste of vitamins all day.
#4—Drink Lots of Water
It’s easy to remember to hydrate in the summer when it’s hot. When the weather cools? Not so much. Thing is, germs looooove a dehydrated, acidic environment. They thrive where there is not enough fluid to flush them out.
How much to drink? Take your body weight, divide in half and then drink that in ounces.
And yes, I know vodka IS clear, but that doesn’t make it water and no it doesn’t count toward your hydration intake or make your grappling or dancing better.
#5—DO JIU JITSU
Want to stay healthy? EXERCISE! Yes, wash your hands, eat great, get sleep, take probiotics, but get exercise. The human body was designed to MOVE. Our lymphatic system works as a hydraulic pump (ergo the needing enough water). We need to be hydrated to make the lymphatic fluid more viscous, but then we need to MOVE so that the lymphatic fluid can do it’s JOB, which is to help CLEAN the body…
Because the antioxidants…(those tiny ODC Norwegians) can only do so much and they probably got distracted organizing. So they need help. Lymphatic fluid can do that.
We modern humans sit waaaay too much on our butts, and so we need to GET OFF them and get to a Jiu Jitsu class and help put Cold and Flu Season in a Triangle Choke.
Yes, I went there. I hear your golf clap. YOU! In the back! I have my eye on you O_o. I am going to go make my kale juice and silently judge you.
ANYWAY! Enjoy the fall, have a great Halloween. Enjoy Jui Jitsu and kiss your adorable little Petri Dishes of LOVE. Stay safe and healthy and please, if you are in Mansfield, come join us for a free month of classes!
Dojo Diva OUT!