Dojo Diva here and today we are going to chat some more about BEGINNING. Last time, we talked about the crabs in the bucket and how we are wise realize that not everyone will throw us a party when we set out to do anything remarkable. When we decide to try Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, lose weight, save for a vacation, start a novel, go back to school, it can often be those closest who offer the most resistance.
It’s natural. People LOVE homeostasis, meaning they LOVE the comfort zone. Problem is, nothing amazing every happened in the comfort zone.
One thing that can get in the way of us beginning is our tendency to procrastinate. Procrastination is often birthed from perfectionism.
We might set standards so high that we set ourselves up for failure. This is why a lot of people are tired, grumpy and burned out three weeks into the New Year.
We bite off way more than we can chew and sabotage our success.
In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, you are a white belt a long, long, looooooong time. Unlike other forms of martial arts where one is a white belt for all of a minute, BJJ leaves you as a white belt for at least a year (we get stripes instead of new colors).
Talk about a lesson in HUMILITY. There is nothing intimidating about being a WHITE BELT. Those IN BJJ know how hard it is for us to earn those stripes, but those folks on the outside? They’re wondering what’s wrong that our belt hasn’t changed color in 8 months.
But, I will say that being left a white belt has actually been better for me. It has given me permission to be NEW. BJJ is SUPER complex. There is a LOT of subtlety and nuance to this sport. Unlike other forms of martial arts, it’s impossible to get better alone. You HAVE to grapple. You NEED mat time to appreciate the feel of the opponent and learn to be strategic and seize opportunities.
This remaining a white belt for SO long has helped me in daily life because it’s taught me to be more realistic with my expectations.
Often we get frustrated and quit because we are expecting too much too soon. Years ago, when I decided to become a writer, I was humiliated that my first novel wasn’t worthy of a Pulitzer. Why? I was NEW.
I see SO many potentially great writers give up because their first novel or first draft doesn’t make angels weep. They fail to understand that this art (like all other arts) takes TIME. It takes practice. When it comes to writing, they are a WHITE BELT and they are in that span of suck where they are developing and honing new skills and instincts.
Just like it is NOT natural to sit alone and write 100,000 words, it is NOT natural to want a fight to go to the ground.
Discipline is UNNATURAL
Chaos and entropy? THAT is natural. The path of least resistance? THAT is natural. When we are new, we are shifting the settings on our “natural.” When others find it natural to eat junk, we lose our taste for it. Cheap fast food burgers begin to taste UNNATURAL. When others find it natural to watch reality television, we get twitchy because we WANT to be at the dojo (or gym or computer). Sitting around feels UNNATURAL.
Small Habits= Big Changes
When we start something new, we can get overwhelmed because we think we need to do SO MUCH. Yet, if we can focus on small changes daily, eventually these habits spread. When we decide to eat healthy we might cut out every poor food choice at once…and then feel icky and be tempted to hold up a Baskin Robbins with a shotgun.
Instead, start with cutting soda intake and replacing with water. Maybe commit to ONE serving of greens with every meal. Add to over time.
Want an immaculate and organized home? Try FlyLady. Baby steps ARE steps!
Same with writing a book. Too many wanna-be authors feel they must write ten pages a day. Start with 500 words. Build on that over time. 500 words a day (if we stick to it) is a novel in six months.
In BJJ, start with a free class. Then add to that. Commit to two days a week. Even two days a week can add up to BIG transitions if we are CONSISTENT. Instead of focusing on skills, focus first on being CONSISTENT and skills will eventually come.
Remember we are what we repeatedly do. If we want to change who we are, we must first change our habits. To change these habits LONG-TERM, we must give ourselves permission to LEARN, permission to be NEW. Whatever you are seeking to accomplish, remember that the white belt is precious because it represents the biggest CHANGE.
You started. Now keep pressing!
What are your thoughts? Do you have a bad habit of trying to do too much too soon? You overdo it at the gym or give yourself tendonitis from trying to write the Great American Novel in a week? Have you gotten better at pacing yourself? Are you too hard on yourself? Maybe get discouraged easily?
For those who are white belts, do you find it discouraging sometimes? I do. I’m human. I know I am getting closer to blue, but it DOES feel light years away some days.
I LOVE hearing from you!
Leave a Reply