Gracie-Barra Mansfield is a fabulous place to learn, grow and make lasting friendships. We are a dojo for the WHOLE family, so if you are in the Arlington, TX area, come by for a visit! We are offering an entire month for FREE.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is called “the gentle martial art” because it is a form that can be practiced for a lifetime. It is well-suited for small children and is an art they can carry into the later years of life. Spawn (my five-year-old-son) and I practice BJJ together.
Though BJJ has been beneficial for both of us, I am really seeing what a difference it is making in him. Spawn is a great kid, but he was in a terrible accident when he was only a little over two. He pulled a heavy bar stool over on his face and knocked his four front teeth up into the maxilla (upper jaw bone). $20,000 worth of maxo-faxial surgery later, we took home our wee baby Bat Boy.
On top of having the missing teeth, Spawn is unusually tall for his age. His father is 6′ 6″. So between the missing teeth and the height, people (adults and kids) would assume he was far older than he really was. Thus, they didn’t understand why this GROWN kid was in Pull-Ups. They didn’t “get” that who they thought was a FIVE year-old was only three. That he wasn’t talking a lot and not fully potty trained because he was STILL a TODDLER.
I ran interference as much as I could, but kids and even adults can be cruel, sometimes not intentionally. By the next year, a child who smiled NON-STOP hid his face. I have very few pictures of him when he is not SLEEPING because the accident had taken a toll on his self-esteem. Then, we had trouble with the preschool he’d been in most of his life and I decided to homeschool.
I detail what led up to that in my post Common Core and Vegan Zombies.
I will admit that not all public schools are the same, but there is a lot of research that shows our culture is becoming increasingly anti-boy. While girls are now thriving in school, boys are struggling.
Our modern educational design has shifted to being more sedentary, collaborative, risk-averse, and feelings-focused which favors girls. Meanwhile, boys tend to be the casualties of the ever-increasing Zero-Tolerance Policies as well as the criminalization of minor offenses. Recess is disappearing and natural “boy behavior” is being medicalized and medicated, demonized and punished.
Boys are naturally more rambunctious. They play aggressively (think bear cubs) and can be inattentive, especially at younger ages. In my opinion, the current model of education is outdated. Our educational system was created as a result of the Industrial Revolution. It was funded and canonized in order to provide future generations of good factory workers. We were a nation of manufacturing and we NEEDED people who could sit still and focus on a singular task all…day…long.
These days, the US is no longer a center for manufacturing. That has moved to developing countries. Most jobs require an insane amount of multi-tasking, which (in my mind) favors those of us wired to be more A.D.D.
But that’s another blog 😀 .
And all of my socio-political arguments aside, I think most of us would at least confess that kids are expected to sit still and pay attention for far too long and then face punishment when they don’t (or can’t) comply to an unreasonable about of sedentariness.
We are blessed to live in Mansfield. I am working with the schools now and I don’t know if I will send Spawn off to Kindergarden this year now that he is old enough. I know Mansfield has an outstanding reputation so that does mitigate a lot of my worries. But, even in GREAT school systems like ours, I think we as parents can help our kids (especially our BOYS) thrive by adding in BOY-FRIENDLY activities.
I help teach the kid’s class and it is ALWAYS AWESOME to see a class filled with little girls. I grew up being the ONLY female taking martial arts and it is super cool to see these girls starting so young. But what is even COOLER for me as the mother of a son, is to have a place where Spawn is rewarded for being a BOY. Wrestling and giggling and tackling are GOOD and even rewarded.
It’s been wonderful to see my boy go from being shy and afraid to talk to people to all smiles and giggles. He LOVES BJJ and loves the kids there. Since he is engaging more, his speech is improving. I am seeing him interested in far more things because he’s gotten back that spark of bravery that the accident had almost snuffed out.
At Gracie Barra Mansfield, boys can be boys in a safe environment where boy behavior is a GOOD thing and is channeled in healthy and productive ways. It is a wonderful blend of discipline and flexibility.
I look forward to seeing you in class and BRING ON THE BOYZ!!!
What are your thoughts? Are you the parent of a boy? Do you find yourself having to add in extra “boy-friendly activities”?
Stay smart, stay calm and stay SAFE!
~Dojo Diva
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