Dojo Diva here to talk more on the Gracie State of Mind. At Gracie-Barra Mansfield, we love serving the DFW community, but through this blog, we can do more. We can share what it means to practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, how it goes way beyond becoming a lean, mean fighting machine.
One thing I have been learning a lot about is the “Grace” part of “Gracie.” I have been working hard for over a year to get my blue belt. I was doing great and then got SHINGLES. Ugh. I had to take time off. Then I got started AGAIN and have been going strong since January. Then, last Friday? I was in the Urgent Care.
Poison Ivy. *head desk*
Just about the time I felt I was getting some SERIOUS momentum? I had to take off Saturday and might take off another night… and I am struggling NOT to have a panic attack.
Will I be okay? Will I forget all I know? Will they remember who I am? Will I lose my will to get my blue belt?
*twitch* *twitch*
But I think I am doing better with giving myself more grace. I know that persistence prevails when all else fails. Often it is when we rest, when we cease to stop fighting, that we begin to see real improvement.
More is not always better.
For instance, when I first joined Jiu Jitsu, I used to power through everything. It didn’t take long until I was winded and soaked in sweat…and caught in an arm bar.
WHAT? HOW did THAT happen?
I was going too fast, pressing too hard. I wasn’t pacing myself. I couldn’t understand why the upper belts just kept shaking their heads and telling me that I was “working too hard.”
Of course I am working hard, because this is AMERICA and hard work eventually pays off!
Commies…
Then, last week something changed. Suddenly, I was fine. I was cool, even. I moved with ease and relatively slowly. I stopped to think before making a move…and I was UNSTOPPABLE. When I relaxed and didn’t “try so hard” I actually did a lot better.
But I keep having the same lessons over and over. Giving myself grace. I don’t have to be busy ALL THE TIME. Faster is not better. Working harder isn’t working smarter. It is OKAY to slow down. Taking a day or two off won’t derail EVERYTHING.
So, enjoy the summer vacation. Float in a pool. Get off the phone. No, we don’t have to multi-task every waking second. We CAN actually just BE. We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS.
Image via Tumblr
At Gracie Barra Mansfield, our goal is to reach out beyond the mats and serve our DFW community by teaching ways to stay safe. Yes, I (Kristen Lamb) am the self-professed Dojo Diva. While I am not YET a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, I am a trained social media ninja. I’ve written three #1 best-selling books on the topic and been teaching how to use social media since MYSPACE was cool.
One crucial area I teach? SAFETY. The internet is crawling with predators and we have to be wise how we handle our on-line interactions so they don’t turn into real-life disasters.
I teach Operational Security—Know your adversary and deny him access.
When sitting in our PJs scrolling Facebook, it is easy to fall into a false sense of security. But BEWARE, there are real life big bad wolves posing as Grandma (sometimes literally). Today, we will cover some tips to make sure on-line fun remains FUN.
NEVER Report Your Whereabouts on Social Media
There is no reason to be specific about where you live in your profile, especially if you live in a small community like Rendon or Kennedale. My on-line profiles all say “Dallas, TX” or “DFW, TX.” People who KNOW me, know where I live.
If you are going on vacation? Keep it to yourself until you return. Then feel free to post all your pics of the fun family vacation AFTER the fact. I can’t count HOW many times I have seen tweets or status updates with a pic of the family at the airport and a line that says, “FINALLY! We are off for our week vacation in Tumbuktu.”
And all I can think is, “Good job. You just let every potential burglar know your house is probably empty.”
Also, just because social media lets us “check in” and businesses encourage this doesn’t mean it is a good idea. First of all, it lets strangers know our precise location. This is great information for a potential attacker to lie in wait and a great way to get ambushed. Other people don’t need to know THAT much.
It’s none of their business.
DO NOT CHECK IN FRIENDS
I’ve been out with people who like to “check in” on Facebook and tell the world they are WITH ME at “XYZ BBQ” in Arlington, TEXAS. Well, that is great except, what if I am a female with an abusive ex who I am hiding from?
Thanks for getting me jumped in the parking lot.
If that person wants to advertise their house for a home invasion, go ahead, but please leave me out of it.
We don’t want to be “that” friend.
Don’t Post Pictures of Your Home with Identifiable Landmarks
Hey, after all that rain? I was PROUD of the work I did in my garden. My wisteria resembled that plant creature from Little Shop of Horrors and was trying to eat my house. Of course I took Before and After pictures. BUT, I was careful to not include the sign on my garage with my street address. I take great pains to always shoot from angles that don’t give away vital information.
Get a new car and want to share? Go ahead. Just take a pic that doesn’t show the license plate number or use a photo tool and blur or pixilate it out.
Monikers are Great for Kids
Some people get all weird and never want to post pics of their kids ever or talk about their kids or even let the world know they HAVE kids. And that is your call. But, I post pics of my kiddo and his on-line following rivals my own. But the world at large knows him as The Spawn. Unless people know us, like FOR REAL know us? They don’t know his real name. Meet The Spawn
Putting our kids’ given names on social media just gives a way for predators to be able to approach a child BY NAME and that can go badly. Just use that nickname and refer to The Squirrel, The Bean, Peanut, whatever.
DO NOT GIVE YOUR BIRTHDAY
Identity thieves LOVE getting a hold of a birthdate. Just because Facebook has a space to fill in our birthdate doesn’t mean we need to go along like sheep. Either leave it blank or put in a date that is close enough for government work. Again, real friends will know your birthday.
These are just good habits for being safe on-line. Even if we have a locked down page and ONLY friends and family members “know” us? Still follow these tips. Hackers and phishers compromise accounts all the time. Just because we think that’s Grandma doesn’t mean a Wolf didn’t “eat” her profile and put on her clothes.
Predators thrive off information and they pay attention for weakness. DENY THEM ACCESS.
The Gracie Mansfield Avengers are my BJJ BROTHERS.
If you happen to live in the Fort Worth or Arlington area? Gracie Barra Mansfield is a great place to learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Get in shape, bond, make friends, and spend quality time with the entire family. Here at Gracie Mansfield, we not only believe Jiu Jistu is for everyone, but we are passionate about training you how to keep yourself and your loved ones SAFE.
This said, the recipe for any successful attack ALWAYS has three ingredients: A Victim, a Perpetrator and an Opportunity.
Yes, learning self-defense, grappling, chokes, sweeps, locks, etc. is beneficial, but the BEST self-defense, the one that has the HIGHEST success rate?
Simply live in a way that never completes the predator’s recipe.
We can take away OPPORTUNITY simply by forming good habits (and this applies to EVERYONE, including the black belt 😉 ).
Today, we are going to discuss ten simple habits that can take away some of the most common opportunities evil people exploit.
AVOID CONFLICT
AAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Truth is, I want you to try a Gracie Barra Mansfield class. I love martial arts. We are a Dojo Family. My five-year-old son and I take classes together. But the reality is that real-life attacks are never cut and dry. Even if we do walk away, there can be lasting consequences physically, emotionally, mentally and even legally.
This means that the best way to win a fight is to avoid one at ALL COST. Leave, run away, FLEE! Yes, Gracie can help prepare us for worst-case-scenarios, but the most prudent course of action? Don’t get in a worst-case-scenario to begin with.
BE AWARE
We’ve already talked some about this. Modern life has created a LOT of bad habits. Talking, texting, listening to music, wearing headphones. BAD, BAD JUJU. If we are outside of our house, our heads need to be on a swivel. We must first spot danger if we hope to avoid it.
DON’T LET YOURSELF BE OUTNUMBERED
Round a corner and there is a group of people who make your Spidey-Senses tingle? LISTEN TO YOUR SPIDEY-SENSES. Turn around and find a better route (preferably one well-lit with people).
Even if you don’t have your Spidey-Senses go off? We should turn around especially if we’re alone. We should never give an opportunity for that seemingly innocuous group of teens to turn into a mob playing the Knockout Game…on US.
BE AWARE ALWAYS
Pay attention to who is around you. How can we know we are being followed or even herded if we aren’t aware who is around us?
Along with texting and Facebook, another MAJOR distraction is sight-seeing (especially now that it is summer). We can get so caught up in the new sights and smells and opportunities for a cool selfie that we fail to be vigilant.
Remember, ALL places can be potentially dangerous, but especially places where we might tend to feel safer or be having so much fun that we let down our guard. Predators LOVE resorts, theme parks, beaches, lakes, and popular tourist destinations.
The places we love to go have fun are the favorite hunting ground of the predator. Keep that in mind so that the memories of any vacation are happy ones.
GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE Image vie Flickr Creative Commons.
We females are notorious for getting in the car and then taking time to check makeup, our phones, make a call, etc. These activities can and should be done LATER. Sitting in a parked car alone is already a vulnerable spot, but sitting there absorbed in an activity is just trouble waiting to happen.
Sure, we might get away with doing this many many years, but it only takes ONE TIME to alter or end a life.
Remember we talked about the minds of predators. Like wolves, a human predator’s primary activity involves searching for and then exploiting vulnerability. Don’t give them the opportunity. Get in the car, lock it and leave.
WALK WIDE AROUND CORNERS OF BUILDINGS
We don’t know what is on the other side of a blind corner, so form a habit of walking wide around blind spots. Hedges are also dangerous. When I used to live in apartments we had a large hedge near one of the buildings. It was shocking how many females would just wander past (usually texting) with no thought about who might be waiting on the other side.
LOOK UP
I have a friend who was a Green Beret and he’d laugh at how regular people never LOOK UP…and he was right. Again, back when I lived in an apartment complex, I’d often go sit and read on the stairs. It was shocking how many people walked past and never knew I was there.
Remember that just being aware can take away an attacker’s opportunity. We don’t need to walk around like frightened chickens, but keep an eye on what’s going on around and remember to also glance up 😉 .
AVOID REACTION-NUMBING SUBSTANCES IN PUBLIC (OR UNFAMILIAR) PLACES
Summertime is a time we like to let go and have fun, but substances like alcohol are a main ingredient for disaster. Remember that to stay safe, the BEST plan is to avoid bad situations. When we are under the influence, we don’t make quick decisions or even good decisions. We might let down our guard, allow people in our personal space or not read important red flags heralding danger.
Danger is tough enough to avoid sober, so it is best that we keep a clear head.
GUARD YOUR DRINKS
Speaking of drinks, this is not necessarily just for alcoholic beverages. Watch ALL drinks. Before I got married, I LOVED to go dancing and I always drank water. If I left to use the restroom, I always got a new glass FROM THE BARTENDER.
I would not even trust a friend watching your drink. Bars are filled with distractions (kind of the point of a club or bar) and it is simply too easy for a skilled predator to compromise a beverage with some kind of drug.
Also, do not let anyone you do not know and trust buy you a drink and, even then, always be present when the drink is prepared.
THEY ARE STILL A STRANGER Seems legit….
In social situations, it is easy to get talking to a person and let the guard down too soon. It might be a person we meet at the lake or a club or even a first date. Remember that while the person might be friendly, he still could simply be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. People should earn our trust.
Our job isn’t to be frightened of the world and think everything is going to kill us, but we should maintain a healthy respect for danger. Self-defense can become as natural as breathing if we get into and maintain smart habits. We look forward to seeing you in class!
As we talked about last time, we don’t have to be a black belt to know how to stay safe. Sure, having a black belt is COOL, but there are some simple things we can do, that we can teach our KIDS to do so that we can minimize what bad people can do.
If you’ve seen the movie, “American Sniper” you have heard the parable of the Wolf, the Sheep and the Sheepdog. I actually laughed out loud in that scene because I think that speech must be issued to all Texas parents, or at least military parents because I recall getting the same speech when I was a kid.
For those who haven’t heard it, the analogy goes as so. There are three kinds of people in the world. There are the wolves. Wolves prey on the weak for their own ends. They are always looking to exploit a weakness. When wolves (or any predator) hunts, they don’t go after the strongest and the fastest. They target weakness. They go for the small, the weak, the young, the old, the infirm, or the one who wandered off and isn’t paying attention. They go for the one who strayed too far from the safety of a group.
This is what wolves DO with most of their time. They hunt, they search and study and patrol LOOKING for any kind of weakness where they can take advantage.
There are human wolves. All they do is look for opportunity to exploit.
Then there are the sheep. Sheep are dumb. They are often oblivious. They follow where they are led and they will even follow to slaughter. They don’t question. They are a herd creature and they are the favorite prey for the predator.
Finally, we have the sheepdog. The sheepdog is a formidable adversary. The sheepdog is FIERCE but also gentle, loving, loyal and protective. The sheepdog watches over the sheep. Hs doesn’t exploit the sheep. If he sees a little one wandering off, he herds him back to the group and watches out for predators.
For the sheepdog, violence isn’t always the answer, but it IS an option.
Our goal in Jiu Jitsu (or any martial arts) is to train sheepdogs. Those with an interest in becoming wolves with our techniques don’t last long, and they know they will ignite the ire of a pack of nasty sheepdogs if they are discovered. So most stay away. Many people join Jiu Jitsu to be trained how to transition from sheep to sheepdog.
When I was growing up, we used to train Belgium Sheepdogs as service animals. What was SO COOL was that you could see the wiring of the sheepdog from puppy to elderly. The pups would bounce around and play in a group of small children, but if one of the toddlers decided to wander off, the pups would rush over and gently guide the baby back to the group. Same with the old dogs. We had an elderly Belgium who was an AMAZING service animal even at the age of eleven.
But sheepdogs exhibit behaviors that distinguish them from wolves and from sheep and we can learn from that. In fact, Gracie Barra training is ALL ABOUT honing and training our inner sheepdog. Image courtesy of Virtual Wolf via Flickr Creative Commons
Sheepdogs are NOT PACK ANIMALS LIKE WOLVES
Wolves will almost always be found hunting in packs. They are bullies and use their numbers to pick on the weak. They don’t like one-on-one confrontation because they lose advantage.
Sheepdogs have no problem with one-on-one confrontation and they don’t rely on outnumbering for advantage.
Sheepdogs are NOT HERD ANIMALS LIKE SHEEP
Yes, sheepdogs meander through the herd, they protect the herd, but they are never ONE with the herd. They don’t rely on safety in numbers like the sheep. They are never part of the groupthink of the herd.
Sheepdogs are ALWAYS Alert, Present and AWARE of Surroundings
Sheepdogs might be seen basking in the sun but trust me, they are very aware who who is where and doing what. They are always on the alert for any signs of danger and that somethings doesn’t look right. They keep an eye on those who are weak, not to take advantage, but rather to PROTECT the weak from predators who wish to exploit.
Sheepdogs Will Never Seek a Confrontation but They Won’t Back Down from One
Sheepdogs don’t go out “looking” for predators. They generally hang back and keep watch. But, should danger present itself? GAME ON.
Sheepdogs are WIRED to Be Prepared
Sheepdogs have genetic wiring that gives them the ability to take on or back down a predator.
When we train in Jiu Jistu, we are training to be sheepdogs. Unlike sheepdogs, we don’t have the same genetic wiring, so there are skills we need to learn.
I hate to say it, but I see A LOT of sheep behavior in people and it’s a good way to get hurt or killed. One of the first steps we can do to stay safe (and keep those around us safe) is to start behaving more like a sheepdog and less like a sheep.
Some Human Sheep Behaviors
Headphones
I like listening to music as much as the next person, but one thing I see that vexes me PROFOUNDLY are people (particularly females) out jogging in a park alone wearing a set of headphones. To me, they look like some little lamb that’s wandered to the outside of the herd and is too busy munching on dandelions to notice the wolf.
Remember, human predators think and act A LOT like predators in nature. What better place to snag an unsuspecting victim than a park where the potential victim is oblivious to her surroundings?
If you want to jog wearing headphones, great. But get some friends to go with or do this in a contained environment like a gym. Predators back down when there are numbers. If you are alone? Ditch the headphones so you can maintain situational awareness.
Smart Phones
I love Facebook. I like to text and talk as much as the next person. But, there is a time and a place for everything. Parking lots are NOTORIOUSLY dangerous, and yet daily I see people walking alone (usually with headphones) completely immersed in their Twitter feed instead of paying attention and looking for potential threats.
If I am busy tweeting about my latte, I can’t see that there is a panel van or an open trunk or a pack of thugs who look like they might want to go Christmas shopping with MY purse.
Put the phone away until you are in a safer place. Don’t text and talk when you are walking across the wolves’ favorite hunting grounds.
Conversation
As a Stay-at-Home Mom, I totally get it. Sometimes we just have to go unleash the kids in the park. It CAN get boring watching Junior on the monkey bars and it is tempting to chat with a friend or another parent (or even get out the cell phone). This is fine so long as we limit it and keep situational awareness.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CONFRONT A POTENTIAL WOLF
I always stay on the lookout for potential predators. One day I had my two young nephews at a park. I noticed a man walk down the hill and linger along the fringes in a copse of trees beyond the play equipment. He had no children, but was unusually focused on the kids in the park. I moved in between him and the kids and made STRONG EYE CONTACT to let him know I SAW HIM. I NOTICED HIM.
He left.
Those who are going to possibly prey on a small child are hoping we aren’t paying attention. They DO NOT like being noticed. Often, like the sheepdog perking its ears and growling, this is enough to make the predator slink away, because they have lost their greatest advantages—stealth and invisibility. They KNOW we are not going to let any little lambs wander their direction.
Again, I hope you find a Gracie Barra close or even come join us here in Mansfield. We are offering free trials so you can get a taste of Advanced Sheepdog Training. Train the pups!
Just remember, stay alert, stay calm and stay SAFE!
Dojo Diva here! Happy Monday! Today we are going to talk about QUITTING. Wait? Didn’t we just talk about beginning? YES. But starting and quitting are actually more closely related than one might imagine. To quote the one of the greatest movies ever…
Sometimes the way forward is often the way baaack. ~Labyrinth
Gracie Jiu Jitsu practitioners learn that we never lose, only learn. In the beginning, this can be tough to embrace because pride and ego get in the way. When I started BJJ, I didn’t (obviously) have any skill, but I DID have strength. I also had an ego. When we’d spar (roll) I’d muscle through using power instead of finesse. Problem was, I didn’t want to lose, so I wouldn’t tap out even when it was clear I was beaten with yet another arm bar. I’d hold on and hold on and HOLD ON and MAKE them truly get the arm bar before I would tap out.
Dumb, dumb, dumb-ditty dumb.
I still “lost.” I only delayed “losing” and added a strained elbow or shoulder on top of it.
Finally, I slowed down long enough to listen and decided to try it the “Gracie Way” instead of my own. I slowed down, focused on my breathing and gave up trying to “win” and instead focused on learning. What was I doing or not doing that was leading to me being in a bad spot? I set aside my pride and traded it for allowing myself to be new. Now, the second I feel I goofed up? I tap out, reverse engineer what went wrong and work to correct it.
There are so many things in life we can be powering through and in our fear of “giving up” we lose the larger and more important lesson.
There’s a famous quote that I feel does a LOT of damage if we aren’t careful. “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” Inspiring? YES. Accurate? NO.
I posit that winners actually are expert quitters. They quit things all the time! They quit toxic relationships that are taking time and energy away from their goals. They quit a business plan that’s going nowhere. They quit shopping novels that maybe didn’t turn out as well as planned and they move on to the next book and do better because they can use the experience from the story that went sideways.
I like to say, “Persistence looks a lot like stupid.” The act of never giving up is noble, but never giving up on the wrong things is a formula to fail. We have to learn to detect the difference between quitting a tactic and quitting a dream.
Quitting is very valuable when applied properly.
Quitting Shortens the Learning Curve
When I learned to “quit” in BJJ, I started seeing more clearly what I was doing wrong. I was able to keep going and get more practice because I could stop and ask questions. “Hey, what do I do when I find myself HERE?” And I could use the time as a learning opportunity. Also, I prevented injuries that might have made me have to take off valuable time from Jiu Jitsu.
Quitting Saves Time and Money
In business, quitting can save time, manpower and money. Too many people hang onto a mistake far too long, because they’ve already invested a lot of time and money making that mistake. What happens is we are then throwing good money after bad. Sometimes, we just have to take the hit as a learning experience and move on to more productive endeavors.
Quitting a relationship in business often means we have the tough task of firing someone. Most of us don’t like the idea of hurting anyone, so we avoid it. As a business owner? I HATED having to admit I made a mistake in hiring. But I can honestly say that every person I’ve fired should have been cut loose far earlier.
I had a writer I knew who I hired to do basic administrative stuff. He was a really nice guy I wanted to help…but he was a DISASTER in the job I’d given him. He sent messages to the wrong people, missed messages, made all kinds of errors in the paperwork. A person I’d hired to help me save time was sucking every spare minute I had cleaning up his mistakes. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and keep hoping things would improve.
They didn’t.
But, by NOT quitting on an idea (letting this person GO), I ended up causing damage that wouldn’t have been there had I been brave enough to put a stop to something that wasn’t working.
Quitting Makes Pressing On EASIER
As an author, quitting has saved me pointless revisions. When I get a feel a story is going nowhere? I stop. Go back to the basics. What is my log-line? Why is the story unraveling or fizzling?
I used to just keep going, keep writing and believe that I would find my way out. What I actually did was make the landscape far more confusing and the novel much harder to repair because now I had an additional 30,000 words I didn’t want to part with. Had I quit earlier when I first sensed the plot derailing, it would have been far simpler to get back on track.
Quitting is very useful. In BJJ, it helps us learn, grow toward mastery and have far fewer injuries. Same in working out. If it’s hurting in a WRONG WAY? Quit! Quitting saves a lot of time, effort, energy and drama if we learn to get good at it 😉 .
What are your thoughts? Do you practice BJJ? Did you have a hard time quitting (tapping out) in the beginning? Did you improve once you learned it was okay to “lose”? Have you had some tough things in life that got better once you quit what wasn’t working? Are you bad about quitting? Do you hold on to things far too long and to your own detriment? Can you think of some things you might need to quit?
Dojo Diva here and today we are going to chat some more about BEGINNING. Last time, we talked about the crabs in the bucket and how we are wise realize that not everyone will throw us a party when we set out to do anything remarkable. When we decide to try Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, lose weight, save for a vacation, start a novel, go back to school, it can often be those closest who offer the most resistance.
It’s natural. People LOVE homeostasis, meaning they LOVE the comfort zone. Problem is, nothing amazing every happened in the comfort zone.
One thing that can get in the way of us beginning is our tendency to procrastinate. Procrastination is often birthed from perfectionism.
We might set standards so high that we set ourselves up for failure. This is why a lot of people are tired, grumpy and burned out three weeks into the New Year.
We bite off way more than we can chew and sabotage our success.
In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, you are a white belt a long, long, looooooong time. Unlike other forms of martial arts where one is a white belt for all of a minute, BJJ leaves you as a white belt for at least a year (we get stripes instead of new colors).
Talk about a lesson in HUMILITY. There is nothing intimidating about being a WHITE BELT. Those IN BJJ know how hard it is for us to earn those stripes, but those folks on the outside? They’re wondering what’s wrong that our belt hasn’t changed color in 8 months.
But, I will say that being left a white belt has actually been better for me. It has given me permission to be NEW. BJJ is SUPER complex. There is a LOT of subtlety and nuance to this sport. Unlike other forms of martial arts, it’s impossible to get better alone. You HAVE to grapple. You NEED mat time to appreciate the feel of the opponent and learn to be strategic and seize opportunities.
This remaining a white belt for SO long has helped me in daily life because it’s taught me to be more realistic with my expectations.
Often we get frustrated and quit because we are expecting too much too soon. Years ago, when I decided to become a writer, I was humiliated that my first novel wasn’t worthy of a Pulitzer. Why? I was NEW.
I see SO many potentially great writers give up because their first novel or first draft doesn’t make angels weep. They fail to understand that this art (like all other arts) takes TIME. It takes practice. When it comes to writing, they are a WHITE BELT and they are in that span of suck where they are developing and honing new skills and instincts.
Just like it is NOT natural to sit alone and write 100,000 words, it is NOT natural to want a fight to go to the ground.
Discipline is UNNATURAL
Chaos and entropy? THAT is natural. The path of least resistance? THAT is natural. When we are new, we are shifting the settings on our “natural.” When others find it natural to eat junk, we lose our taste for it. Cheap fast food burgers begin to taste UNNATURAL. When others find it natural to watch reality television, we get twitchy because we WANT to be at the dojo (or gym or computer). Sitting around feels UNNATURAL.
Small Habits= Big Changes
When we start something new, we can get overwhelmed because we think we need to do SO MUCH. Yet, if we can focus on small changes daily, eventually these habits spread. When we decide to eat healthy we might cut out every poor food choice at once…and then feel icky and be tempted to hold up a Baskin Robbins with a shotgun.
Instead, start with cutting soda intake and replacing with water. Maybe commit to ONE serving of greens with every meal. Add to over time.
Want an immaculate and organized home? Try FlyLady. Baby steps ARE steps!
Same with writing a book. Too many wanna-be authors feel they must write ten pages a day. Start with 500 words. Build on that over time. 500 words a day (if we stick to it) is a novel in six months.
In BJJ, start with a free class. Then add to that. Commit to two days a week. Even two days a week can add up to BIG transitions if we are CONSISTENT. Instead of focusing on skills, focus first on being CONSISTENT and skills will eventually come.
Remember we are what we repeatedly do. If we want to change who we are, we must first change our habits. To change these habits LONG-TERM, we must give ourselves permission to LEARN, permission to be NEW. Whatever you are seeking to accomplish, remember that the white belt is precious because it represents the biggest CHANGE.
You started. Now keep pressing!
What are your thoughts? Do you have a bad habit of trying to do too much too soon? You overdo it at the gym or give yourself tendonitis from trying to write the Great American Novel in a week? Have you gotten better at pacing yourself? Are you too hard on yourself? Maybe get discouraged easily?
For those who are white belts, do you find it discouraging sometimes? I do. I’m human. I know I am getting closer to blue, but it DOES feel light years away some days.
