Gracie Barra Mansfield | Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Tag: Kristen Lamb

Introducing Holiday Combatives Training—Yule-Jitsu

Gracie-Barra Mansfield, Texas is all about serving the greater community and we believe Jiu Jitsu is for everyone. But, we also believe in innovation, which is why we are the ONLY dojo in the WORLD to offer martial arts to keep you safe specifically during the holiday season with—Yule-Jitsu.

Yes, you read correctly. Yule-Jitsu. Because let’s face it…the holidays are trying to kill you so why not CHOKE THEM OUT?

Maybe you think I am nuts. You’d be correct. Maybe you think I simply want attention and blog content. Also correct. But here’s the thing.

Millions of people are killed by their own Christmas decorations EVERY DAY, but more so during Christmas. In fact, holiday decorations are the LEADING cause of death among all people of all ages in EVERY country according to an article I just published on Wikipedia.

But how much of this tragedy could be prevented with just a little bit of preparation? How many other forms of martial arts have been blind to this vacuum in combatives training?

NO MORE.

We at Gracie Mansfield could not allow this kind of reckless irresponsibility to continue, so today I bring you the foundational moves of YULE-Jitsu.

The Fir Mount Escape

The unthinkable happens and you are attacked by your own TREE. This escape is named The Fir Mount escape namely because I really dig clever word play. This escape will work on more than just fir trees and is effective on any evergreen real or artificial.

Maybe you are hauling in that “natural tree” and trip over the cat. Maybe you have too much egg nog and lose your footing. Maybe your home is invaded by a burglar with a record and since he is on parole? He cannot have a GUN and so he uses a TREE.

You are trapped. WHAT…DO…YOU…DO?

Remain calm.

The key is not to panic. If you feel wetness, it is probably not blood. If it’s a natural tree, likely you just spilled water down your leg…or you’ve wet your own pants. But the thing is? Stay calm.

The force of being crushed by your own tree probably will not kill you, but it will give you really awkward carpet burn that could lead to serious marriage counseling.

Breathe. Create distance. Work your hands between you and the offending spruce to get the weight off your chest.

Shrimp out.

You should now be free from your tree and can now change pants.

Holiday Light Choke Escape

Holiday lights. We love them. Strands of lighted beauty? Or ELECTRIFIED AESTHETICALLY PLEASING DEATH ROPES? All perspective. Again, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ENEMY. That is a foundational teaching of Yule-Jitsu.

Some see eight tiny reindeer. In Yule-Jitsu you learn to see the STAMPEDING HERD OF INFLATED NYLON ‘MADE IN CHINA’ DEATH.

To demonstrate this escape, I’ve had my two assistants help me with an active attack scenario.

Let’s say you are forced to decorate a tree with young people. A teen who is supposed to be helping but is listening to music videos on YouTube. His little sister is enamored with decorations and thus not paying attention.

Meaning when trouble comes sniffing you better be a BEAR WOLF OF YULE-JITSU…because you are on your own.

In a vain attempt to keep the lights from twisting into one giant mangle only good for throwing in the trash, you get the bright idea to “loop” the Electrified Aesthetically Pleasing Death Rope (E.A.P.D.R.) around your neck. Then something goes horribly wrong…

Trouble. First, assess if there really IS trouble. Can you simply slip free of the E.A.P.D.R.?

DEFINITELY trouble. Again, remain calm.

Before creating Yule-Jitsu my first instinct was to simply gnaw through the E.A.P.D.R. Let’s just say that is a really bad plan. Using a knife? Equally bad plan. Throw water on it to lubricate and wriggle free?

No, though I thought that would work too.

WHICH IS WHY WE NEED YULE-JITSU…

Create space between your throat and the E.A.P.D.R.

Work free from the choke.

E.A.P.D.R.s are a genuine threat. No one is required to register them, get a permit for them and I am proof any idiot can be in possession of these so please. Practice your Yule-Jitsu.

Moving on to the final move in Yule-Jitsu. This move is helpful throughout the year but VERY useful during this time of year.

The Dreaded Holiday Salesclerk

The Hair Iron Throw (or H.I.T.)

Ladies, you know what it’s like. You are shopping for gifts and if your hair is curly, some salesperson at a kiosk with a flatiron is after you. If your hair is straight? The assault will come in the form of a curling tool.

Some fools see a mall? I see a poor tactical position with no cover. YULE-JITSU TRAINING.

Though this move was developed to take out an enemy with a mad hot hair tool, it is also effective against clerks wielding perfume, cheaper cell phone plans, artificial hair pieces and wrinkle creams.

Again, my assistant is helping me demonstrate the Hair Iron Throw (H.I.T.).

Notice my assistant sees the coming threat and is immediately in her ready stance.

Trap the attacker’s hand. This keeps your hair straight (or curly) and also keeps the hot iron contained so you don’t get burned as you further execute the H.I.T.

Rotate the arm. Again, this creates more space to keep your hair the freaking way you STYLED IT WHEN YOU LEFT.

Also it will throw the attacker off balance and this permits a much smaller person to take out a far larger aggressor. Children who study Yule-Jitsu can also help maintain a parent or guardian’s current hair style and keep any adult from purchasing some overpriced “Ionic Tool” and why do we need IONS in our hair anyway?

Follow through. Notice as she rotates, I go over. Maintain control and finish. Keep control of the hair tool during the H.I.T. Finish the move as needed.

Practice your Yule-Jitsu and you can LIVE to see Valentines. If not? According to my imaginary stats you will be dead by the end of this post anyway.

Stay safe! Know your Yule-Jitsu. Merry Christma-Hana-Kwanza-kah from Gracie Barra Mansfield!

What are your thoughts about Yule-Jitsu? Are you shocked there has been such a glaring hole in self-defense? Are you even MORE SHOCKED that people like me are allowed access to computers? Do we need other forms of holiday inspired martial arts?

We love hearing from you! Come join us for a free month of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and we will throw in some Yule-Jitsu for FREE!

December 14, 2015
The Burden of BJJ Beautiful—Our Dojo Goes Hollywood

BJJ Beautiful

Last night our dojo was blessed to take part in an extraordinary event. A camera crew filming for a nationally televised show (Mann vs. Mann) used our dojo for a show. At first the plan was to include the students in the show. Upon hearing this, I did what any reasonable person in this situation would do. I woke up early and made a pot roast so that my husband would have dinner…and then listed our house on the market for sale because HELLO?

Um HOLLYWOOD???

Of course, I should have known better. It never happened. We were made to stay off camera. Why you ask?

I’d heard rumors of such a phenomenon but only thought it was that…rumor. It hasn’t had a name until ~~I needed a blog~~ ~~post~~ NOW.

BJJ Beautiful.

Apparently there is something about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that just makes one unusually attractive. I know! RIGHT? It seems ludicrous at first, but think about it. Why are there no GRACIE JIU JITSU MOVIES? We have Kung Fu, Karate, Kempo, Aikido…but not ONE grappling flick.

Sure, you could be thinking it’s because trying to shoot sweaty men rolling around on the ground grunting and hugging each other isn’t nearly as dramatic as a Jackie Chan scene where he kills five men with a two swizzle sticks and a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

But I think there is something FAR more nefarious at work here. NO, NOW I KNOW there is.

Like I said, we students were supposed to be in the show, but then, the stars were “running late.” UH-HUH. OR, they didn’t want to compete with…THIS!

Oh MY GOD, BECKY. LOOK at her CHOKE!

Brangelina? TAP OUT!

The reason there are no Gracie Jiu Jitsu movies is because Hollywood would implode. There, I said it. The 500 pound gorilla in the room. I called him out and arm-barred him. You’re welcome. Because my BJJ Brothers and Sisters have suffered in silence long enough.

Maybe you thought something was wrong with you. Maybe you thought that people were backing off because you probably should have washed the gi after Day Two. Maybe your grappling partner’s neck was red because of beard burn. But maybe, just maybe, it was an affect of BJJ Beautiful. That being that close to so much attractiveness…has consequences. Real physical consequences.

Flying too close to the sun, man.

And you probably think I am crazy and you’d likely be correct. But here is some proof. First, the KIDS.

Girls don’t need TIARAS! They need tap outs!

Child stars? Just redo your resumes….

Still not a believer?

I was documenting the filming of the show and captured THIS!

And THIS…

Did you see it? See what I am talking about? EXACTLY! You didn’t see it! Not ONE good straight-on shot of Professor Young’s unusually attractive FACE!
Granted, it could have been me being too distracted doing my own head shots just in case an agent called…

She can ACT, TOO!

More likely, it was because Jiu Jitsu makes you unusually attractive. Can’t you see? They couldn’t have the STUDENTS in the shot because then the fans might love us, but it would have been totally weird for Professor NOT to be on the show. But they could still SHUT HIM DOWN. I wouldn’t be surprised if they pixilate his face once it airs… *rolls eyes*

Or Photoshop in some boxing. Just saying.

I am breaking this news to you so the truth gets out there. I stayed up all night ~~making stuff up~~ interviewing ~~REAL~~ people affected by being BJJ Beautiful.

Here are just a few of their stories. Their names have been altered to protect the BJJ Beautiful…

Davido Salguerra

Before Jiu Jitsu, I would have never contemplated getting tattooed eyeliner, but when grappling, who wants that mess all over their gi? Try explaining THAT to your girlfriend. If she doesn’t grapple, she has NO clue about what it means to be BJJ Beautiful and she just thinks you’re cheating.

Being BJJ Beautiful is a blessing but also a responsibility. That blue gi enhances my eyes, but it’s my job to take that to another level, just like I do with anything else in Jiu Jitsu.

J. Fabio Pohlak-Sky

BJJ does make you better looking. I didn’t believe it. Friends who were grapplers tried to prepare me, to warn me, but grappling seemed too cool not to take a chance.

I’m glad I did.

Before I signed up for Gracie Jiu Jitsu I never would have thought of becoming a model. Now? What can I say? The future is limitless…

Dr. D’Shawn Mouse

I began in another form of martial arts so I never expected this. I just thought you put on a gi and trained, that ground-fighting was an excellent form of self-defense and a wonderful way to stay in shape. But it was SO much more. Nothing could have prepared me for being this unusually attractive, though my wife loves it.

Delicious-D-Leyva

It’s been an adjustment. I love Jiu Jistu, but I want someone who loves me for my mind.

Jiu Jitsu has always come with its share of challenges. Sprains, strains, injuries. But NO ONE has ever dared talk about the burden of being unusually attractive. It takes an extra dose of humility so that others don’t feel strange hanging out with us. We have to remember that there are others who are beautiful, but not everyone is BJJ Beautiful 😉 …

If you suffer from BJJ Beautiful, feel free to leave a comment and share your story or even how you’ve embraced being unusually attractive. If you are still in transition from another less-attractive sport, call our imaginary hotline 1-555-WER-FULLVCRAP

~Dojo Diva

November 4, 2015
5 Ways to Choke Out Cold & Flu Season

It is that time of YEAR! The weather is changing. Kids are back in school. People are gathering in closed spaces and cooties abound. Yes, even in the dojo. ESPECIALLY in the dojo.
Thing is. Kids are seriously cute. Sign your kid up for Jiu Jitsu and the cuteness factor just increases two hundred million percent.

Don’t argue. It’s science. PROOF HERE.

Then, when your kids are in Jiu Jitsu, they like to make friends. Or, in my son’s case, I think one of his classmates claimed him as her future husband…which totally works for me because HELLO? She does Jiu Jitsu so she’s a keeper.

But, let’s face it, Jiu Jitsu often involves a lot of this…

And this…

This…

OOH! This.

And of COURSE…THIS…

And YES I KNOW I have way more pics of the little kids and the girls and that is because trying to take pics of the bigger boys grappling? How do we put this? Ever see the outtakes where the poor cameraman is accidentally flattened by an overzealous lineman and hospitalized?

EXACTLY. And that is why y’all got a shot of them sitting. Still. Where they don’t BLUR and can’t hurt me.

Anyway. With all this Jiu Jitsu cuteness rolling around, it’s hard to believe that any one of these could be Patient Zero in a gi. These kids are so cute (especially mine), but we need to remember that they are God’s Little Petri Dishes.

I watch my kid sometimes and think I’d be safer licking a toilet than kissing him.

Sigh.

And the adults? We aren’t any better. We are sweating and slobbering as we grapple, spreading the Joy of Germs everywhere we go.

The common approach these days is to SANITIZE EVERYTHING. And that’s cool. Cleanliness is my thing. I am Scandinavian and Norway IS the motherland of OCD. But, I am not a huge fan of relying on anti-bacterial stuff. I like some common sense.

So FIVE TIPS to help keep you healthy this cold and flu season.

#1—Easy on the Anti-Bacterial Gels

I am not saying these are bad, but they are not a cure-all. WASHING our hands actually does a better job because it is the friction that does the best job at getting rid of the germs. So, yeah, gels when in a pinch, but good old fashioned hand-washing just can’t be beat. Wash to the tune of Happy Birthday or if your kid is like my son?

Innagaddadavida.

#2—Jedi Your Germs

Thing is, germs are EVERYWHERE. We need them to be everywhere or life as we know it would implode. Like the scientists benevolently kill one BAD bacteria but then they find they disrupted this chain of events because that bad bacteria was the ONLY one feeding off a bacteria no one ever knew about that made Avon Ladies foam at the mouth and eat their young and WE KILLED IT!

When science starts tinkering with things to “help”, that’s when we get a new Michael Bay movie.

It’s The FORCE. Things need to stay in balance.

Sith germs exist, but so long as the Jedi Germs abound? We’re cool.

Invest in a GOOD probiotic. Modern food doesn’t keep the Jedi germs in high enough numbers in our system. Unfortunately, if you have even REMOTELY paid attention in the last 20 years, you KNOW McDonald’s is OWNED by the Sith.

We have to actively look for things like a GOOD Greek yogurt or even a GOOD probiotic (found in the refrigerated section of Sprouts). I would recommend that you get the probiotic Gummies, but you seriously need the self-discipline of a Shaolin Monk or those are going to be the most expensive gummy bears you have ever eaten in your LIFE…and no, eating an entire jar of them in one night does NOT make you healthier.

It does, however make you poorer and sad. Very very sad.

#3—KALE, BABY!

Yes, well I drank green juice with KALE before it was cool. But now that it’s cool it is easier for you to stay healthy because I used to have to drive 30 MILES to get good, luscious, dark, awesome kale to toss in my juicer and now they sell it at Home Depot and JoAnnes Fabric store so you have NO EXCUSE.

Invest in a Vita-Mix if you can because fiber is great for keeping you healthy. It pulls toxins out of your system.

Kale is loaded in B Vitamins that we ALL NEED. Stress will burn through your Bs like a flash fire and if you don’t replenish them? You get tired, burned out and SICK. Antioxidants also act like tiny Norwegians with OCD who like to scrub your body clean of all the schmutz.

Again, don’t argue. It’s science.

Why I love kale is the body just does better getting nutrients from FOOD instead of a pill. BUT, we should all be taking a good supplement so I HIGHLY recommend vitamins by Megafoods because all the nutrients are from food and captured using cold fusion.

This means your body uses a LOT more (meaning less Technicolor pee—YES SHE WENT THERE!) and you also won’t be belching up the taste of vitamins all day.

#4—Drink Lots of Water

It’s easy to remember to hydrate in the summer when it’s hot. When the weather cools? Not so much. Thing is, germs looooove a dehydrated, acidic environment. They thrive where there is not enough fluid to flush them out.

How much to drink? Take your body weight, divide in half and then drink that in ounces.

And yes, I know vodka IS clear, but that doesn’t make it water and no it doesn’t count toward your hydration intake or make your grappling or dancing better.

#5—DO JIU JITSU

Want to stay healthy? EXERCISE! Yes, wash your hands, eat great, get sleep, take probiotics, but get exercise. The human body was designed to MOVE. Our lymphatic system works as a hydraulic pump (ergo the needing enough water). We need to be hydrated to make the lymphatic fluid more viscous, but then we need to MOVE so that the lymphatic fluid can do it’s JOB, which is to help CLEAN the body…

Because the antioxidants…(those tiny ODC Norwegians) can only do so much and they probably got distracted organizing. So they need help. Lymphatic fluid can do that.

We modern humans sit waaaay too much on our butts, and so we need to GET OFF them and get to a Jiu Jitsu class and help put Cold and Flu Season in a Triangle Choke.

Yes, I went there. I hear your golf clap. YOU! In the back! I have my eye on you O_o. I am going to go make my kale juice and silently judge you.

ANYWAY! Enjoy the fall, have a great Halloween. Enjoy Jui Jitsu and kiss your adorable little Petri Dishes of LOVE. Stay safe and healthy and please, if you are in Mansfield, come join us for a free month of classes!

Dojo Diva OUT!

October 28, 2015
Getting PWNED? Three Ways to Up Your White Belt Game

Dojo Diva here! As I have mentioned before, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is relatively unique. Jiu Jitsu has only FIVE belt colors (white, blue, purple, brown, black) and we are going to stay at white for a long, long time.

In fact, I tell Professor that when I actually GET my blue belt, I am wearing that sucker EVERYWHERE. Shopping. To the movies. Church. Out to eat. I am going to VACUUM the HOUSE in it. SLEEP in it.

He still totally thinks I’m kidding.

But seriously, those four stripes represent so much change and sacrifice. I work from home, so I start working at about 5:30 in the morning and work all day and then I take my son to Jiu Jitsu and assist in his class and then go to MY class and that is a good 60-90 minutes and then I have to come home and cook and lets just say it is a LONG day.

Those four stripes I now have represent countless hours on the mats being made into a pretzel by people WAY bigger than me. They are the cumulation of hundreds of bruises, a broken nose, four broken toes, and more than a thousand lessons in humility and I have loved every second of it because it is hard hard work. In a world that is so eager to hand out awards for “trying” MY DOJO is the place that tests everything I am and tells me the TRUTH.

I either earn it or I don’t.

I will be honest. Sometimes it is hard writing a Jiu Jitsu blog. I don’t feel cool. I don’t have a lot of cool moves to show you because I am still so freaking new even though I have been at this for over a year. Some days I feel like I am hot stuff and other days? I wonder if I ever paid attention to anything. Did ANYTHING Professor say manage to STICK? Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to get it.

But even though I am no Rhonda Rousey, I am probably a lot more like you. I am closer to where most of you are. If you are thinking of starting Jiu Jitsu I can tell you it is the most fun you will probably ever have in your life. If you are new, you are sore. Buy Ibuprophen at Costo *fist bump* I love you, man. Keep pressing.

Here are some other things I have learned along the way that will help up your white belt game. Truthfully, they probably help the other colors too but I don’t know since I am not there yet.

I think brown belts bathe in the blood of vanquished enemies to make black but I’d have to google that…

Where were we? Oh yeah, TIPS!

Tip #1—Grapple at 40%

I have no idea WHY I didn’t think to do this in the beginning. When I was brand new, I thought I had to go full steam and this is when I actually got the four broken toes and the busted nose. WHY? Because I had ZERO technique so I was just relying on brute force and muscle. I made myself tired and sore and I got injured.

A lot.

And that was stupid and completely preventable.

When you are starting out, feel free to ask if you can grapple at a diminished percentage. There is nothing bad@$$ about being a white belt anyway so why do we feel we have to be all tough? We don’t. Really.

No one is judging you.

I thought people were when I was new. Now? I know better. I see the new white belts and I am all “WHOA! Slow down Cowboy! I don’t wanna get hurt, either!”

I bet I was a real peach to grapple with.

*hangs head*

Anyway…

Just trust me. It does you ZERO good to go full speed with crappy form. You won’t learn and you’re just more apt to injure yourself or your partner. Or you and your partner. Or you and your partner and the people next to you AND the Jiu Jistu Moms watching nearby and then it just gets all awkward when a Jiu Jitsu Mom retaliates with a CHAIR so just BACK OFF and ease up, okay?

And, to be blunt, BJJ doesn’t work that way. It’s easy. Smooth. Like jazz, only with chokes.

Watch Professor. He barely even breaks a sweat turning people into twisty ties.

GOOD Jiu Jitsu is fluid and beautiful. Breathe. FLOW.

Tip #2—Private Instruction is an AWESOME Investment

I don’t make any money off this, so you can take this as an honest opinion and not someone trying to sell you something. Private instruction pays MASSIVE dividends. MASSIVE. HUGE. HUGE!!! In class you just can’t learn what you can learn from on-on-one with a pro.

For MONTHS I would get smashed in full mount. No matter where I went or what I did? Somehow managed to get mounted and game over. I took ONE lesson and now? In the six months since I took that lesson NO ONE has yet to submit me from the mount.

And I didn’t believe it when my instructor said I would own that escape. I had been decimated by it so many times I couldn’t imagine myself having any power in it.

By the way, I am a 5′ 3″ female. Most of the time, my opponents are much bigger, so me being mounted is no small deal. It stinks getting smashed. But, he was right. My small size became my advantage.

Before Lessons—> ROADKILL
After Lessons—> RADIOACTIVE SUPER FERRET

BUT I had to take that time to gain the TECHNIQUE and that NEVER would have happened without that additional investment. It wasn’t even the technique of escaping that was most valuable. In private training, the instructor grapples with you. He did with me. By doing this, he was able to identify then correct all my bad habits that were putting me in the position to get mounted in the first place.

So. Private lessons. You can thank me later.

The holidays are coming. Treat yourself. Treat a family member or a friend.

Tip #3—Beware of Overtraining

One thing that has undermined me a bit is that I AM so eager to belt up. I was going to class a lot and I was also training outside the dojo and I ground myself down. Recently got pretty sick and it forced me to take three weeks off.

But the funny thing was, when I returned, I felt far stronger. In retrospect, before I was forced to take off I was tired. Overtraining had affected my performance on the mats. I was sluggish and my moves were sloppy and forced. With a little rest? My game was far better.

Sometimes, less really IS more.

In the end, embrace the white belt experience. If we are going to be here for a while, might as well have fun and take in all we can :D.

If you are in the Fort Worth-Arlington area, come by for a free month at Gracie Barra Mansfield!

~Dojo Diva

October 22, 2015
How to Handle Injury in Jiu Jitsu

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is often called the “gentle art” because it can be practiced by any age, but like any sport, injuries can happen. Since BJJ is not a striking sport, broken noses and knocked out teeth are not nearly as common. But, BJJ is physically demanding and comes with its share of strains and sprains. At Gracie Barra Mansfield we offer fun for the whole family in a safe environment, but this is a sport and well…stuff happens. So, when stuff happens. When we overdo it or maybe push way too hard, what do we do?

Preventing Injury

As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Since we know we are engaging in a full contact sport, there are some ways we can avoid injury, which is obviously preferable.

Flexibility

Stiff muscles are strained muscles (or torn). I know I work a sedentary job that has me leaning over a computer all day which makes me stiff. This means it is up to me to add in flexibility training (yoga). That 10 minutes of warmup at the beginning of class is the bare minimum to get warm. If you know your flexibility isn’t that great, it would be a good idea to work on this outside of class.

Being flexible will not only improve your rolling, it will help you avoid injury. Supple, flexible muscles and joints have a far greater range of motion and this lessens the chances for injury.

Strength Training

Again, sometimes we need to add in additional training outside of the dojo. When we roll regularly, we are taxing all kinds of muscle groups, but we may not be working them evenly. A good way to keep our bodies injury-free is to make sure we are training all muscle groups. It is easy to overtrain certain areas at the expense of others.

If we work biceps, then we must also work triceps for balance. Work abs? Make sure to work the lower back as well. When I roll I tend to use the right side of my body more (being right-handed). Thus, I need to make sure that I train the left side (at the gym) to avoid overtraining one set of muscles.

Don’t Be a Hero

I’ve talked about this before but it bears mentioning again. When in doubt? Tap out. I used to fight every single submission and, yes, a lot of them I could wriggle free from, but was the pain and soreness worth it? The strained pectoral I have had to baby for months because I didn’t want to admit my opponent had gotten me in an arm bar? Live and learn and move on. This is not the UFC.

Now if I even think someone has a submission, I tap out and war-game how I landed in the bad spot to begin with so I can learn.

White belt is a long…long journey. No need to make it any longer.

Slow Down

Again, we’ve talked about this before, but this is an especially tough lesson for white belts. I am still learning it. When we grapple, we need to learn to do it with control. Going too quickly or lurching or flinging into moves is just a good way to get hurt or hurt someone else.

What to Do When Injured

Ouch.

STOP

I’ve been the idiot who just kept rolling even when I knew I’d probably strained something. In Jiu Jitsu we have to learn to listen to our bodies early. If you think you hurt yourself when rolling, just stop. Better to miss 30 minutes of rolling than a month.

ICE

I HATE ice. It is wet and uncomfortable and whiiiiiiiine. But, ice is key for reducing inflammation. Heat might feel good, but it will make inflammation even worse and when the tissue is gorged with blood and swollen? It isn’t going to heal. This means for a new injury, stick to ice. Wait a good three days before using any heat.

When we injure a muscle, ice shrinks capillaries stemming any blood flow to minimize swelling, and it numbs nerve endings which will help with pain. I use bags of cheap frozen vegetables wrapped in a thin kitchen towel. Peas are my favorite because the bag can be molded to conform to the injured area.

ROTATE ON 5s

If you have a more significant injury, you can use heat after three days, but rotate it with ice. Always start with ice and then end with ice. Five minutes ice then five minutes heat.

5 Ice–> 5 Heat –> 5 Ice –> 5 Heat –> 5 Ice

Heat is good for adding some suppleness back into the muscle. So if you are stiff, feel free to use some heat to get the blood flowing into that area before working out.

We just have to be careful with heat. Heat is going to dilate capillaries and increase blood flow. This is good for getting stiff muscles moving and for getting rid of soreness but if we have a strain or tear we could be doing more harm than good.

ELEVATE

Again, the key to speedier healing is to make sure to contain inflammation. Inflammation is bad juju. So if you’ve injured an area that you can elevate? I.e. an ankle. DO IT.

REST

This is a tough one. Lately, I’ve had a strained pectoral and it has been a serious pain (literally) to rehabilitate. My physical therapist has told me to rest, but I will be the first to admit that I am a lousy judge of when I am okay to get back in the game. I believe I’ve rested enough but…yeah. No.

Take it slow. BJJ will be there when we return.

Natural Remedies

Tumeric can be used to ward off inflammation. I use this for cooking, but it can also be taken in capsule form or made into a poultice to take down inflammation and ease joint pain. I also HIGHLY recommend Dr. Singha’s Mustard Bath for soaking away pain.

Just remember that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a fantastic workout that can keep you lean, fit, flexible and healthy. Like any sport, it comes with bumps, bruises and strains but by being careful and listening to our bodies we can ensure we can continue to enjoy the sport for years to come!

September 30, 2015
Grappling for Dummies—5 Tips to Improve Your White Belt Journey

Here at Gracie Barra Mansfield, we are your Brazilian Jiu Jitsu connection. We are here to help you stay safe and have fun doing it. I am Dojo Diva and I am not a real MMA fighter, I just play one on XBox 😀 . Also, I am a 41 year old mother who’s been practicing BJJ for over a year and a half so I am living proof that Jiu Jitsu really IS for everyone.

I’ve taken other forms of martial arts, but what makes Brazilian Jiu Jitsu highly unique is that you stay a white belt for a long…long…looooong time. The difference between a new white belt who still has the creases in his new gi and a four-stripe white belt who’s been training for a year or more is pretty amazing.

Especially when you’ve been on the journey yourself.

I am hovering on the precipice of earning my blue belt, which is why I am always hesitant to give any kind of martial arts “advice.” I know I am NOT a black belt and don’t pretend to be. Every moment on the mat is a reminder of all I still have yet to learn.

But, since the most common belt for those practicing Jiu Jitsu is the white belt, I thought maybe I could give some tips to help shorten the learning curve. As much as I love Jiu Jitsu, the simple reality is that not everyone who starts training as a white belt ever makes it to blue. Sometimes it is just life, time, finances, but it could also be burnout or injury. I confess there were times I considered “tapping out” and it had more to do with my mind than anything else.

So I’ve listed the top five things I wish I would have known a heck of a lot earlier and I hope it enriches your BJJ experience and improves your game…

Tip #1 Slow Down

When I started in BJJ a year and a half ago, I had no skills and less smarts, but I did have strength. I used brute force but really all it earned me was far too many minor injuries and I ran out of steam quickly. This made grappling far tougher than it needed to be.

Powering through might work for one round or even two, but after that? I wouldn’t have the gas to continue. In a competition? Though could be a big deal.

Also by going too quickly and relying on strength, I wasn’t slowing down enough to SEE places where I might gain advantage.

Tip #2 Breathe

These days, whenever a newer white belt gets red in the face and sweaty, I make him slow down and remember the breath. Breath is critical for mental calmness that makes for better Jiu Jitsu.

Tip #3 Keep Your Elbows IN

Seems like a no-brainer for the upper belts, but when I was new, I’d get so scope-locked, that I wouldn’t notice my elbows were flared and I was getting arm-barred CONSTANTLY. These days, I am still a white belt and no Ronda Rousey, but I am at least staying in the game. I might not yet be winning as much as I’d like to, but I am holding my own.

I’ve learned in the last year and a half that if I slow down, remember my breath, and keep my elbows in, I can often outlast a far larger and far more skilled opponent.

Tip #4 THINK

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a highly unique form of martial arts. It is not as reliant on size and strength as other forms of martial arts. It is a very cerebral sport and part of the growth process of being a white belt is to mature from being purely reactive to thinking tactically.

It’s hard when an opponent has you smashed in side-control to resist the urge to do SOMETHING! ANYTHING to get out of that seriously uncomfortable place. But Jiu Jitsu is CHESS, not Tiddlywinks 😉 .

Often, just being still and focusing on the breath forces our opponent to change tactics and move. Any movement provides opportunity for a reversal. Once we get more advanced, we can start predicting (or even directing) what that move might be and then using it for advantage.

Tip #5 Tap

Since I am a Type-A overachiever, this was one of the hardest things for me to learn in the beginning. Now? I have no pride. If someone gets the arm bar? I am not going to try and wrestle out of it, because even if I could get out of it? Often I strain something along the way and it isn’t worth the downtime.

These days? The second I feel someone might have the submission, I tap. Then I ask if we can backtrack a bit so I can war-game what I did wrong so that, hopefully, it won’t happen again.

Jiu Jistu isn’t an event, but a process. If we relax and learn to slow down, relax, and pay attention? The journey is far more enjoyable.

We hope you will join us on the mats here in Mansfield. In the meantime have fun and stay frosty!

Dojo Diva

September 19, 2015
Gracie Goes BACK TO SCHOOL! Three Tips to Stop Bullying

The BJJ “Brothers”

Ah, BACK TO SCHOOL! At Gracie Barra Mansfield, we strive to support families and this means helping bully proof your kids. As an author and on-line personality, I can say that bullying never goes away. It seems that young bullies often simply grow up to become adult bullies. Though nothing will ever make bullies completely disappear, there are things we can do to minimize the damage they can do.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is wonderful for helping our kids learn how to handle bullies, but Jiu Jitsu goes beyond simple self-defense. Martial arts practitioners might be prepared for a fight, but that in no way means we ever WANT a fight.

Today we are going to talk about three simple ways Jiu Jitsu helps kids with bullying.

Peace In The Plan

We talked about this earlier in the year. As a society, we drill for EVERYTHING. We have fire drills and flood drills. Tornado drills. Hurricane drills. We make a plan for what to do if separated at the mall. What to do if Mom forgets to pick us up from school. Heck, our family even has a plan for the Zombie Apocalypse.

But how many people plan (mentally prepare) for being verbally or physically assaulted?

Often, just wargaming a potential crisis can help tremendously. If it didn’t, flight attendants would simply wait until the plane was falling out of the sky to bother telling us that our seat cushions can also be used as a flotation device.

When you or your child trains in Jiu Jitsu, you are mentally preparing to be victorious and not a victim. Your child is practicing being in a bad spot and coming out unscathed (in a healthy environment).

Body Language

How do you feel when you deal with a person who refuses to make eye contact?

What about a person who keeps looking at a phone and tapping her foot when you are trying to ask a question?

How do you feel about people who smile genuinely when they see you?

Most communication is nonverbal. Body language is a HUGE deal. School can be hard on kids, especially at the beginning of a school year. Are the old friends going to still be friends? Will there be a place she can fit in? Maybe the school is completely new and is a frightening and unfamiliar world.

Jiu Jitsu instills a quiet confidence in those who practice the art. Confidence is nonverbal and it does affect how others treat us. Predators (bullies) are not looking for the kid who has a strong self image. They are sniffing out the insecure because the confident kid will just tell them to go pound sand. Bullying, manipulation and intimidation don’t work very well on the kid who has a strong sense of self.

Having a TRIBE

This strong sense of self can and does come from practicing a martial art, but it also comes from being part of a TRIBE. Bullies look for insecure loners because insecure loners lack a system of support. They lack peers who can be there for emotional support.

Think of wildlife documentaries. The pack of hyenas (great parallel for bullies) isn’t looking to take on an entire pride of lions. They are looking for the sick, old or lost gazelle who wandered too far away from the herd.

Bullies are cowards and the best thing we can do to bully-proof our kids is to add them to the Gracie Tribe. They can then learn to practice and live excellence and feel safe knowing they are part of something stronger than themselves. Maybe they don’t fit in at school, but they will always have their Jiu Jitsu brothers and sisters 😉 .

Jiu Jitsu also helps train our kids to be world changers. The only way to get rid of bullying is to train kids to have excellent character. Don’t BE a bully and if you SEE bullying? Make a difference. Protect those weaker and stand up for what is right.

We hope that you will come by and bring your kids. We offer an entire anti-bullying curriculum and look forward to making you part of our tribe!

August 20, 2015
Three Changes to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle & Build a Rockstar Immune System!

Here at Gracie Barra Mansfield, we are all about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but we are really passionate about health. We believe that Jiu Jitsu is a lifestyle and it is for everyone. That is why Dojo Diva (moi) is heading to the KITCHEN today!

I even wore my favorite apron 😀 .

For any kind of training to have benefits, we must approach it holistically. It is very hard to out-train a poor diet. Diet provides us with all the building materials, but what exactly are those materials? What are we supplying?

If you were to build your dream home, would you want to make it out of cardboard, wire hangars, bubblegum and pressboard? Or would you prefer concrete, mahogany, mortar and stone? If you had your dream car, would you wash it with sugary sodas? Okay, not soda, just sweet tea 😉 . Or would you use clean water?

If we envision our bodies as a structure that we are constantly building, repairing or remodeling, it is easy to be pretty horrified with what we are doing to ourselves with diet. Since I have about a GAZILLION food allergies, I have been forced to become somewhat of an armchair nutrition expert, so we are going to talk about some simple nutrition fixes that can improve your energy levels, your fitness and your overall health.

I guarantee if you do these THREE things for the next 90 days, you won’t believe the improvement.

Get Enough Protein

This is one I get nailed on ALL the time. Since I work from home, it is easy for me to get distracted and forget to eat. We need to consume .82 grams of protein per pound of lean muscle weight. Research suggests that anything beyond the .82 grams is not effectively used and can actually turn into fat. But, I WILL say that while men who chug protein drinks are at risk for overdoing the protein, I imagine many of us are probably deficient so that’s where we will focus today.

If the average person inhales coffee on the way to work and maybe gets some kind of a carb (muffin) then a quick lunch and bad snacks and a hasty dinner, odds are, protein consumption is WAY LOW.

There are a number of problems that can come with lack of protein. First, most convenience foods are high in refined carbs and sugar, which will stimulate appetite. If we have enough protein, we will feel full longer. Additionally, if we aren’t getting enough protein in our diet, our body will start cannibalizing its own muscle.

This is bad for the guys who maybe want to build size because not enough protein means not enough “bricks” to build more muscle. Also, if you are deficient, your body is tearing down and using the muscles you already worked to build.

Lack of protein is also bad for the gals. The more lean muscle mass we possess, the faster our resting metabolic rate (that part where our body burns calories without us thinking about it). The less muscle we have, the slooooower the metabolism and age does NOT help this. A fabulous way to rev up a sluggish metabolism is to add more lean muscle. Hit the mats AND the weights.

Protein helps us lose weight, build muscle, burn fat, have energy and stay healthy. One major cause of compromised immunity is malnutrition. For instance, immunoglobulin (the gooey stuff in our blood stream that EATS germs) is made of amino acids (protein). So prepare for cold and flu season with a healthy serving of eggs, fish or chicken.

HYDRATE, HYDRATE, HYDRATE!

We need to make sure we are getting enough water. How much is enough, though. Take your total body weigh and divide it in half. That number is the number of ounces you need per day simply to sustain LIFE. This does not include additional hydration we might need because it is hot outside, or we are sweating hard with training or we had a caffeinated drink that will dehydrate us.

Remember, we need two servings of water to compensate for every ONE serving of caffeine. So have an 8 oz. cup of coffee? Okay. But add another 16 oz. of water to make up for the dehydrating affect of the caffeine.

If you are feeling sluggish, sleepy, depressed, or like you can’t think, instead of grabbing an energy drink, try water. Those are usually signs of dehydration. Our body is a hydroelectric system. We have electrical signals firing all over at any given time, but they can’t function if we are dehydrated.

Also, our lymphatic system relies on us having enough water. This web of glands acts as the body’s drainage system and without it, our immune system and cardiovascular systems would shut down. If our lymphatic system is thick and sluggish with toxins, that’s when disease and cancer set up shop.

Remember that water carries out waste. So when you train super hard at Jiu Jistu, those muscles need water. Water will carry away toxins and lactic acid that build up and this can help ease soreness and fatigue and aid in a faster recovery time.

Go Caveman

I am not a proponent of any kind of fad diet, but I will say that I eat Paleo because it is a really great way to eat healthy without having to do a lot of math (I.e. counting calories) or thinking (How many points is that?). Since I am highly allergic to gluten, dairy (casein) soy and some nuts, this way of eating helps me be able to eat and cook without having to think a lot.

Salmon with Balsamic Glaze

Recipe for THIS beauty HERE.

What does it mean to eat Paleo? Basically if an early hunter-gatherer could not have found it or eaten it raw? Don’t eat it. For instance, pretty sure Dr. Pepper was NOT around, but water was. No artificial sweeteners. No processed foods (those came AFTER agriculture was invented). No dairy because hunter-gatherers had not domesticated animals. Avoid nuts like cashews, because cashews are poisonous unless cooked before consumption.

Eating Paleo DOES mean plenty of vegetables, fruit, fish, meat, eggs, healthy oils (like coconut, avocado, olive or almond oils) and natural sweeteners like agave, raw sugar, or honey.

I have a very simple rule. If an EIGHT-YEAR-OLD cannot read and understand the ingredients? DO NOT EAT. We shouldn’t need a degree in organic chemistry to know what we are putting in our mouths. AVOID margarine, hydrogenated oils and Frankenbutter. This junk is made in a LAB and even ROACHES won’t eat it.

Back to Paleo…

What’s really awesome about this way of eating is, unlike other “diets”, the whole family can and should be eating this way. It isn’t a “diet” it is a way of LIFE. You will be fitter and your immune systems will be ROCKING!

If you’d like to check out some of the SUPER YUMMY stuff you can eat on Paleo, here is my Paleo Recipe Board on Pinterest. I like it because it removes almost all the junk we shouldn’t eat, helps us steer clear of the most common food allergens (peanuts, wheat, milk) and most recipes are only a handful of ingredients so they are simple to make. And, if you are wanting your diet to work as hard as you do on the mats? This is a great option.

Apply these THREE SIMPLE life changes—enough protein, enough water, clean eating—and your body will have all the building supplies it needs for a lean, mean, clean Jiu Jitsu machine!

~Dojo Diva

August 10, 2015
Reduce Stress, Increase Joy & Productivity—Why Is Simple So HARD?

At Gracie Barra Mansfield, we are interested in your well-being…as in ALL of it. We NEED balance. What I LOVE about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu it is really isn’t all that fancy. It just involves doing simple stuff, essential stuff really really well.

Funny how we get the same lessons in life over and over and…over. Maybe not you guys. Maybe y’all are sharper than me. But the thing I keep returning to is “essentialism.” Boil everything down to the basics. Focus on one or even a few key areas with all you have. THAT is the key to success.

So why is simple so hard?

But I know my life goes through these crazy times. If you have a pulse and are old enough to be potty trained? You’ve been there.

The Transition

It happened when I went from being single to married. I am a tad…ok, more than a tad OCD. I once moved and the movers called me, “The House that Rubbermaid Made.” Everything was organized and labeled and it took less than five hours for them to move me and less than four hours for me to completely unpack.

***Note: This phenomena hasn’t happened since *whimpers*.

Why? After that move it was no longer only ME.

I had to adjust to being a writer living with my mom who keeps EVERYTHING, then a wife of a man who is adorable but KEEPS EVERYTHING. Then I became a mom of a newborn and then a toddler, and now that he’s a Kindergardener? Yeah, I’m happy if I can keep the floors virtually hazard-free and my house not smelling like a crime scene.

But am I happy?

The Trouble with “Happy”

Am I happy?

I’ve had to ask that A LOT lately. In the end, happiness (in my opinion) should never be our goal. Why? Well, because the word is tethered to “happenstance.” It’s too wonky. Rather, I choose to do what is right knowing it will eventually produce joy which has a much longer shelf life. Am I happy being up at 3:30 in the morning because the cat coughed up a hairball on me in the middle of some weird dream about The Golden Girls and a money-laundering scandal?

No idea. That was a weird-@$$ dream and good reason not to eat too close to bedtime. BUT, I do know that I’m up for some reason…even if it is to make you feel totally sorry for me 😛

Happiness and Joy

I am a NAZI when it comes to language. Seriously. Since we have lost SO many family members in two years, I finally went to a grief counseling group at our church and while it IS awesome and I have made a lot of progress (like finally CRYING) I nitpick about the Scripture. And not to be preachy here, but if you aren’t a Christian, just work with me and roll with it.

We use a lot of the Beatitudes. The translation they use in the group makes me nutso. It isn’t, “HAPPY are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Happy? That makes NO sense to me. I prefer other translations that are closer to the original text, which tell me, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

I am NOT going to feel “happy” mourning. It’s awful losing people you love. But, if I learn to cry, let go, remember the good stuff and latch onto the gifts that those people’s lives gave me? I am definitely BLESSED.

Many times we are blessed yet miserable.

***Especially on DAY FOUR of Jiu Jitsu.

I can think of a lot of super tough times that made me howl to the heavens, WHY ME? Looking back? Those were the times I grew the most. Though I was NOT happy, I needed the lesson. I needed the growth. I needed to let go of baggage, people, situations that I didn’t realize (at the time) were toxic.

I needed to realize my purpose wasn’t selling industrial paper.

Like, seriously.

So, I do think semantics are key. We live in a world where everything is supposed to make us HAPPY. Well, kiddos, I hate to say it but most of the stuff that is good for us in the end will NOT make us happy. “Happy” is fleeting, joy is far deeper.

In BJJ, there will be a lot of times we are miserable, sore, sweaty and tired, but we learn to keep pressing. That the moment is fleeting, it is the work that will endure.

Letting Go

It’s interesting when I grapple with new white belts. They will get SO scope-locked on getting ONE move that they wear themselves out (and end up not getting what they wanted anyway). They don’t realize if they simply LET GO and changed direction (perspective) they would probably beat me (the upper belt).

Ain’t that profound?

I like to believe I am an Essentialist at heart. I lose sight sometimes. We all do. Don’t believe me? Look in your closet O_o. But life isn’t static. We are slaves to entropy.

We are changing and growing and shifting and we are wise to stay on top of what is going on. I cannot DO things the same as a Mommy-Writer with an infant who slept most of the day as NOW when I’m homeschooling a zombie-obsessed five-year-old who abducts Cheerios in the wee hours and sprinkles them in my couch like friggin’ fairy dust.

The goal is to always focus on what is essential. DO NOT COMPROMISE. And you will, but you can regroup. Breathe.

Gracie Barra Jiu Jitsu has always been essentialist in nature. No fancy twirls and kicks. Just learning to ebb and flow like water and feel the moves of your opponent. Then let go. To learn when to push and when to relax and BREATHE.

The weird paradox is that the more we let go, the more we can hold. We live in a world that tells us we can have it all. We can’t. Not really. There HAS to be a trade-off if we hope to do anything well (and remain sane).

For instance, I can have an immaculate home or a happy child. My son won’t remember that the house was dust-free in his childhood. He WILL remember playing at the pool with Mommy, or wrestling and playing “Attack of the MOMBIE.” He will remember the times at the park. He will remember Mommy suiting up with him to help teach his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class.

And we wear matching gis. It’s cute and seriously dorky.

The dishes? Eh, not so much. And if he does and this scars him? Well, shrinks need to eat too.

Choose Wisely

Okay, if you are anything like me you will likely goof this up and need retraining. Why? Because in our New-And-Improved-World, EVERYTHING is important. So give yourself some grace if you get it wrong the first couple tries.

With all the options flying at us telling us we can HAVE IT ALL, we might struggle with discernment. That’s OKAY. Remember, life is not static. Like Jiu Jitsu…just change direction. Make a different decision.

Go AROUND the leaf….

But, if we can look to the CORE of life, what is it? Health, Wealth, Relationships (not in any necessary order), priorities become clearer. As a fun fact, the word priority came from the Latin word a priori which was SINGULAR. It wasn’t until close to the Industrial Revolution that the word was ever pluralized into priorities. What this means to me it that most companies have their collective heads up their butts I need to work on discernment.

With my life? Which things are priority? I can make a list—oh, can I make LISTS—but I’m better off focusing everything into a singular CORE a priori.

What is my GOAL as a mother and wife? As a writer? As a teacher? As a BJJ student?

Believe it or not, it’s all the same. Empowering. I can’t do Hubby’s job for him, but I can make our home a place of respite and peace that empowers him to do the best job he can each day. I can’t force Spawn to learn any faster than he does, but I can empower him to learn the best way for him.

Sigh, yes, even if it involves…zombies.

I can’t do your grappling for you, but I can be here to inspire you to get your tail in the dojo.

Something To Take Away

I am a Work In Progress. We all are. We have to battle this entropy thing until we die, so what are some tips to keep life simpler? I’ll give a few and maybe we’ll expound later.

No Meddling!!!!

We all have family and friends who seem to collect disaster faster than black pants gather cat fur. BE UNAVAILABLE. I can’t even measure the time I’ve wasted trying to solve other people’s problems when they weren’t interested in solving it themselves.

You know who I’m talking about. The people who cry and wail and want advice…and then do what they were going to do anyway and then it BLOWS UP and they need help?

No. JUST SAY NO. Back away. This is just never going to end well. Do BJJ instead. Better results 😀 .

When we meddle, we are NOT HELPING. We’re stealing this person’s power. We are stealing the lesson failure provides as well as the feeling of victory they will have by solving their own problems.

And, because most of us stink at priorities and think everything is an emergency, it is likely those around you do as well. So while they’re screaming FIRE!

…it isn’t.

Put down the firehouse and back away.

Take a Day Off

Sunday is my day of rest. Period. I’ve actually only fired a couple of people, but one? She couldn’t follow instructions. Every Sunday she was e-mailing and calling and wanting to talk business despite many times being told DO NOT CONTACT ON SUNDAY. Everything was a priority!

Failure to prepare on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.

Rest is WORK

In fact, rest is the hardest work we will ever do because we live in a world that frowns upon it. We’re supposed to be doing a zillion things all at once 24/7 and be available all hours all days. And then others wonder why quality suffers.

We have no problems putting gas in our car, plugging in our phones or laptops into a power outlet. Why are we last on the list? We need JUICE, TOO. Recharge and stop running on 3% battery.

Just so y’all know, I have one finger pointed at you and the rest pointed at ME. Lately, I’m learning to say no, turning off phone, do less meddling and more Jiu Jitsu. Oh, and take more power naps. I NEED for my brain to just chillax.

So remember, when EVERYTHING is important? NOTHING is. We hope you join us here at Gracie Barra Mansfield. BJJ is a fabulous way to learn to relax and breathe and learn to let GO!

~Dojo Diva

August 1, 2015
Gracie Jiu Jitsu—Excellence is a Habit

Gracie Barra Mansfield believes in Jiu Jitsu for everyone and Jiu Jitsu FOR LIFE. Why life? Because Jiu Jitsu is far more than grappling. It goes beyond fitness for the body and it creates fitness of mind, will and character. Why Jiu Jitsu is relevant for ALL ages is we all are fighting the same battles from a different vantage point.

Battles against culture and against SELF.

We live in a world of “viral success” “instant fame” “easy money” “NO RISK” but that’s not reality. It’s a lie.

For our young people, what will become the foundation of their character? For those of us who are older, do we need foundation repair because we grew up with poor examples? We’re all concrete and no rebar. Our parents made excuses and took shortcuts so we learned to do the same. Maybe we DID have good examples, but we need some reinforcing because the world and all its junk has eroded our resolve.

BJJ is one of the best places to learn and develop solid character. Excellence is not an event. It is a habit.

As a writer, I’ve noticed that many of the mega authors I work with have a common thread. Almost ALL of them come from professions that instilled in them the ability to delay gratification. They learned to give up what they wanted NOW for what they wanted MOST.

Tess Gerritson was a medical examiner. James Rollins was a veterinarian. Grisham was a lawyer. We see Navy SEALS, Special Forces, triathletes and marathoners all through the upper echelons of publishing.

As a writing teacher I get a lot of newbies who all want to be a New York Times Best-Selling Author with the very first thing they write. They mistake talent for skill. They fail to understand that talent is natural but it isn’t anything all that remarkable.

Talent is nothing if it isn’t paired with skill.

Skill is only something we can earn with blood and sweat and pain. We can’t earn skill on the sidelines, only on the mats. Hammering on our will, our mind, our abilities day after day after day.

Skill only comes with failure.

Skill only comes with getting back up knowing we could fail again. Skill only comes when we appreciate that if we aren’t failing, we aren’t doing anything interesting. Skill eventually rises out of the ashes of our failures because we have made all the wrong moves and so we begin to recognize the right ones.

Skill comes from reaching out to those who are better, wiser and asking for help. Skill comes from humility.

People who dare to great things appreciate this. They willingly subject themselves to being tested day after day. I love BJJ because no one is handed a black belt. BJJ reminds me every day that I can get up again. Do it better. Learn. Try harder.

I voluntarily offer myself to the fire.

For my son, he is learning to have a healthy relationship with failure. He is learning there ARE NO SHORTCUTS to authentic success. He’s learning patience, tenacity, and to be positively absolutely RELENTLESS. What he learns on the mats he can take into life.

For me, I am learning the only limits I have are those I have set in my mind. Limits are like fear. They are illusions. Yes, I am 41 but I only grow old when I think old. Every day I take what I learn on the mats into MY life.

Writing is a brutal profession. We have a 93% failure rate. Being self-employed means I AM THE RAINMAKER. I have to be self-disciplined, self-motivated and self-correcting.

Just like Professor Young is NOT going to come to my house and fire me if I don’t come to class, there is no “boss” that will fire me because I didn’t blog or I didn’t research or I didn’t write the next book.

I have to set my own deadlines. Yes, life happens. We get sick or emergencies happen. Things go sideways, but then we correct. Get back on track. Most people I’ve met in my career will never be successful simply because they failed to master THEMSELVES. If life detours them, they sit in the road and complain instead of making a path back.

Jiu Jitsu teaches us there is no victory without sacrifice. There is no luck we don’t make for ourselves. The harder we work, the luckier we get. Keep going. Keep pressing. Nothing great happens in the comfort zone.

Your enemy isn’t the other guy on the mats. He is your OPPONENT. The enemy is inside of you. Inside of ME.

What we feed is what grows stronger. What we starve grows weak and dies. Why Jiu Jitsu is a part of my life (and my son’s life) is that it feeds the aspects of my character that are essential for success. It feeds determination, hard work, sacrifice and humility. Simultaneously, it STARVES excuses, whining, pride, and laziness.

Yes, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu will get you in shape. It will keep you and your kids healthy. It is fabulous for family, friendships and fun. It also will fire out your darkest, weakest parts and leave only your best self behind. Greatness isn’t a singular moment in the sun. It is an accumulation of many unremarkable and unsung moments in the dark 😉 .

~Dojo Diva

July 21, 2015