Gracie Barra Mansfield | Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Tag: Mansfield Gracie Barra

Gracie Jiu Jitsu—Excellence is a Habit

Gracie Barra Mansfield believes in Jiu Jitsu for everyone and Jiu Jitsu FOR LIFE. Why life? Because Jiu Jitsu is far more than grappling. It goes beyond fitness for the body and it creates fitness of mind, will and character. Why Jiu Jitsu is relevant for ALL ages is we all are fighting the same battles from a different vantage point.

Battles against culture and against SELF.

We live in a world of “viral success” “instant fame” “easy money” “NO RISK” but that’s not reality. It’s a lie.

For our young people, what will become the foundation of their character? For those of us who are older, do we need foundation repair because we grew up with poor examples? We’re all concrete and no rebar. Our parents made excuses and took shortcuts so we learned to do the same. Maybe we DID have good examples, but we need some reinforcing because the world and all its junk has eroded our resolve.

BJJ is one of the best places to learn and develop solid character. Excellence is not an event. It is a habit.

As a writer, I’ve noticed that many of the mega authors I work with have a common thread. Almost ALL of them come from professions that instilled in them the ability to delay gratification. They learned to give up what they wanted NOW for what they wanted MOST.

Tess Gerritson was a medical examiner. James Rollins was a veterinarian. Grisham was a lawyer. We see Navy SEALS, Special Forces, triathletes and marathoners all through the upper echelons of publishing.

As a writing teacher I get a lot of newbies who all want to be a New York Times Best-Selling Author with the very first thing they write. They mistake talent for skill. They fail to understand that talent is natural but it isn’t anything all that remarkable.

Talent is nothing if it isn’t paired with skill.

Skill is only something we can earn with blood and sweat and pain. We can’t earn skill on the sidelines, only on the mats. Hammering on our will, our mind, our abilities day after day after day.

Skill only comes with failure.

Skill only comes with getting back up knowing we could fail again. Skill only comes when we appreciate that if we aren’t failing, we aren’t doing anything interesting. Skill eventually rises out of the ashes of our failures because we have made all the wrong moves and so we begin to recognize the right ones.

Skill comes from reaching out to those who are better, wiser and asking for help. Skill comes from humility.

People who dare to great things appreciate this. They willingly subject themselves to being tested day after day. I love BJJ because no one is handed a black belt. BJJ reminds me every day that I can get up again. Do it better. Learn. Try harder.

I voluntarily offer myself to the fire.

For my son, he is learning to have a healthy relationship with failure. He is learning there ARE NO SHORTCUTS to authentic success. He’s learning patience, tenacity, and to be positively absolutely RELENTLESS. What he learns on the mats he can take into life.

For me, I am learning the only limits I have are those I have set in my mind. Limits are like fear. They are illusions. Yes, I am 41 but I only grow old when I think old. Every day I take what I learn on the mats into MY life.

Writing is a brutal profession. We have a 93% failure rate. Being self-employed means I AM THE RAINMAKER. I have to be self-disciplined, self-motivated and self-correcting.

Just like Professor Young is NOT going to come to my house and fire me if I don’t come to class, there is no “boss” that will fire me because I didn’t blog or I didn’t research or I didn’t write the next book.

I have to set my own deadlines. Yes, life happens. We get sick or emergencies happen. Things go sideways, but then we correct. Get back on track. Most people I’ve met in my career will never be successful simply because they failed to master THEMSELVES. If life detours them, they sit in the road and complain instead of making a path back.

Jiu Jitsu teaches us there is no victory without sacrifice. There is no luck we don’t make for ourselves. The harder we work, the luckier we get. Keep going. Keep pressing. Nothing great happens in the comfort zone.

Your enemy isn’t the other guy on the mats. He is your OPPONENT. The enemy is inside of you. Inside of ME.

What we feed is what grows stronger. What we starve grows weak and dies. Why Jiu Jitsu is a part of my life (and my son’s life) is that it feeds the aspects of my character that are essential for success. It feeds determination, hard work, sacrifice and humility. Simultaneously, it STARVES excuses, whining, pride, and laziness.

Yes, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu will get you in shape. It will keep you and your kids healthy. It is fabulous for family, friendships and fun. It also will fire out your darkest, weakest parts and leave only your best self behind. Greatness isn’t a singular moment in the sun. It is an accumulation of many unremarkable and unsung moments in the dark 😉 .

~Dojo Diva

July 21, 2015
Girls, Gals and Grandmas—Why EVERY Female NEEDS Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

I was hesitant to write about self-defense because I am only Bruce Lee in my own mind. I’ve been studying BJJ for about eight months, which means I’m a three-stripe white belt (in BJJ you are a white belt for a minimum of a year). I do have some skills, but I am far from being an expert. In fact, the only thing I am REALLY useful for is my body being used to clean the mats like a human Swiffer. Spray me with Endust and then partner me with a blue belt…

So what would someone like ME have to say about self-defense?

Actually, after chatting with Professor Young, more than I realized. I’ve been reading a lot of great Jiu Jitsu blogs and it’s easy to become intimidated. There is some fabulous advice from generous upper belts, but I think we can get some faulty thinking if we aren’t careful.

See, the beauty of any martial arts, but ESPECIALLY Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, is you don’t have to know a lot to know. . .A LOT. There are some basic things we learn very early that can do a lot to keep us safe and fend off most attackers. In my opinion, BJJ is the BEST form of martial arts for females and every female should take at least some classes.

Seriously, Moms. Take a class and bring your daughters. Bring your MOM. BJJ is for all ages and you don’t have to be in ninja form to learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones.

Thing is, our society can be kind of weird. We have drills for all kinds of things. We run through all kinds of plans and safety training. Get on ANY plane and the flight attendant will train all of us how to put on a seatbelt. OH-kaaayyy. So THAT’S how I do it! They will point out emergency exits and explain what will happen should trouble arise.

Why?

Because this drill, silly as it seems, prepares us. We don’t want to wait until the plane is going down to think about what could be used as a flotation device.

We do fire drills at schools and workplaces. We do tornado drills. We drill and practice a speech. We practice our answers for a job interview. We might even rehearse what we are going to say and do on a first date or when confronting Aunt Lulu about her tuna loaf. We war-game how we are going to say NO to sewing bumblebee costumes for the entire Kindergarden class.

We rehearse and drill all kinds of things with our KIDS. What to do if lost in a mall. What to do if a stranger asks for help searching for a pet.

If you are like our family, you even plan what you would do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse.

But how much training are we doing for an event that happens every minute of every day to someone? How prepared are we for when someone lunges for our purse or tackles us for a sexual assault? How many teenage girls have an emergency preparedness plan for when for a nice normal date suddenly turns ugly? For a guy pinning her to the ground and who won’t respect the word NO?

How many times have we run through those scenarios so that if (GOD FORBID) it happens? We know what to do.

I’m going to give you a peek into the predator’s mind. The ONE thing most attackers are counting on is that we will panic. That we won’t know what to do. That they can grab us or tackle us or choke us and our minds are going to go a big fat BLANK. They are COUNTING ON that small expanse of panic so they can easily escalate the attack into something life-changing or life-ending.

When they DO attack a person who’s prepared? A whole other ending, and one that is NOT good for the predator. When we fight back, when we are prepared? That is often when it’s the predator’s turn to panic.

For instance, this ADORABLE rabbit…chasing a snake up a tree. Bet the snake hadn’t planned on that…

So. Can even a HANDFUL of classes help? YES. Overwhelmingly YES. Why?

BJJ Prepares the Mind and the Body for a Fight

I find it funny that people believe that because I train in martial arts, I therefore must want to be in a fight. NOOOOOOO. I am a lover, not a fighter. The best way to win a fight? AVOID a fight. But in life, sometimes stuff happens and we need to be ready.

Thing is, it is pretty shocking the first time you get hit. Since many people have never been hit, pinned or choked, they panic when it happens. Their minds go blank and panic sets in and panic can get us hurt or killed.

In BJJ we don’t do much punching and kicking, but we do train to be ready for someone who wants to punch and kick. . . or choke or tackle us to the ground. This means we can experience the moves and feel of a fight (an attack) in a safe environment so if that time should ever come? We are ready and we don’t think, don’t panic, we simply ACT.

This is actually the second time I have taken Jiu Jitsu. I started in waaaay back in the mid 90s when it was a new and unheard of sport. I recall doing a drill for getting free from a rear choke. And I did my thing because it was all a fun workout and I really wanted to earn that next belt. I really didn’t give any thought to how I might use this outside of a dojo.

At the time, I was working nights delivering papers to pay my way through college. Part of having a paper route involved selling new subscriptions along your route. My route was comprised of three HUGE apartment complexes.

So one night, I dressed relatively nicely so people would open the door and at least listen to my pitch about why they needed a Fort Worth Star Telegram. I dressed somewhere in between Jehovah’s Witness and possible Kirby Salesperson, so presentable, but not PLEASE ROB ME I AM WEARING DIAMONDS. I had a decent leather briefcase to hold the paperwork and any checks collected.

It was during the time of year it got dark early. As I was making my way through the parking lot, I came across a drunk who started hitting on me and asking about my briefcase. I was polite and firm and kept on my way (this was WAY before cell phones). Anyway, about an hour later, as I was making my way to the next building the guy came out of nowhere for me and used…

A rear choke.

I didn’t even have to think. It was as if I moved of my own accord. I broke the choke, threw the guy and then. . . .beat the SNOT out of him with the very briefcase he was trying to steal. Within two minutes, my small amount of training tuned this 6 foot 3 drunk from predator to prey.

Because I was chasing him to get in another hit (at 5’3″ and 110 pounds). . .

The rabbit and the snake again 😀 .

When I called the cops and they asked for a description, all I could recall was tall white male, drunk, and probably had an impression of my briefcase in his face.

But how badly could that have gone had I not drilled what to do in case of that attack over and over and over? If I had never felt the sensation of being choked? If I’d panicked?

I’ve been in martial arts enough years to witness the kinds of people who sign up (and I’m mainly referring to females here). Two kinds of females take martial arts—those who’ve never been attacked and those who don’t want it to happen ever again.

Prevention is always preferable. Those first seconds of a potential attack are the most critical. So drill for tornadoes and drill for fire escape, and rehearse for what to do in the event of a plane crash, but the odds of us being attacked by another PERSON are far higher than being in a fire, a tornado or a plane crash.

In my opinion, one of the BEST gifts for that high school graduate is a class in BJJ. Bring the kids. Spend a summer together learning and training together. But above all?

Stay smart, stay calm and stay safe 😉 .

~Dojo Diva

May 27, 2015
The Dip–A Crucible for Character

The Dip can feel like a BLACK HOLE

So we’ve talked about how hard it is to begin. We are in the company of our fears and insecurities. Maybe we even get pushback from friends. But, a new level, a new devil.

Meet THE DIP

You pushed all those negative thoughts back and STARTED. GO YOU! Maybe you started a new eating plan, a new novel, a new BJJ class. Odds are there was some pain involved, but the changes you saw were enough to keep pressing. Sure, you might have been bummed to be eating veggies and chicken instead of drive-thru burgers, but the clothes started getting looser and your skin began to glow. That new novel seemed to write itself. Yes, BJJ was hard, but MAN what a workout and you were learning SO MUCH.

Then????

*brakes screech*

Sometime, somewhere you ran into a wall.

Now? No matter how many veggies you eat, the scale isn’t budging. You pound on the keyboard, play with spitballs and try to be inspired, but? NOTHING. You can’t seem to finish that novel. If you are like me in BJJ, you feel like you’ve been at this FOREVER and you just aren’t getting any better. X number of months in and you wonder if maybe the dojo would be better off spraying your gi with Endust so at least the mats will be clean when your opponents finish wiping the floor with you.

The Dip is that pan of suck right before the breakthrough (thank you Seth Godin). No one knows how long The Dip will last until they are standing on the other side. Problem is, this is the place most people give up.

It is easy to keep pressing when we have some kind of outside validation that what we are doing will eventually pay off.

It’s easy to keep eating super healthy so long as the scale is going down. It’s easy to keep writing so long as the chapters are flowing. It’s easy to keep blogging so long as people comment and the stats at least improve.

But can we keep doing it even with NO SIGN what we are doing is “working”?

I’m a mom. I have a great kid, but he IS a five-year-old boy, which means he is like an Etch-A-Sketch someone shakes every night erasing all I imparted on him throughout the day. Even though we HAVE a routine and we HAVE structure, I still have to remind him over and over and… *cries* over.

“Is that how we ask for things? Please may I have…?”

“Is that where your shoes go?”

“It is not my job to keep up with your XBox controller. No, YOU need to look for it.”

Many times it would just be a LOT easier to give him what he wants without insisting on manners and respect. It would be easier to put away his shoes and find the controller because short-term? It is easier.

Did I mention that it is EASIER?

Meet The Spawn

But what would happen fifteen, twenty or twenty-five years from now? What kind of person would he be? Granted, I can’t control all of his choices, but as his mother it is my responsibility to at least TRY to rear a good citizen who is respectful and has self-control.

But I can’t always SEE that. That is why it is important to…

Keep Our Eyes Beyond The Dip

Lately I have felt stuck in BJJ. I didn’t feel like I was improving all that much. But, I kept thinking of why I began. I wanted a black belt in SOMETHING. Apparently sarcasm doesn’t count 😛 .

So, I just kept showing up. And, today I was at the gym doing my own training and found that, suddenly, a certain drill that was really cumbersome and awkward clicked. It is a small step, but it IS a step.

With my son, day-to-day I can’t SEE who he will become and parenting can feel like a GINORMOUS Dip. We seem to never make it forward. Every day is new, but still sticky, coated in cat fur or lost in the basket of socks we STILL need to fold.

Then one day, he says or does something that I stop and go, “OMG! He IS listening! It’s working!”

The Trick To Busting The Dip

Keep pressing. We need to remember the WHY behind what we are doing. We should keep our eyes OFF The Dip (namely because that sucker is HUGE and intimidating) and instead keep our eyes on putting one foot in front of the other.

Never underestimate the value of simply showing up.

I did this as a writer. I blogged when no one cared what I had to say. I blogged for a YEAR AND A HALF to the spam bots. Now, eight years later that my name is in Writer’s Digest Magazine? Sure, WAY easier to show up. But what if I’d focused on The Dip instead of the work?

Right now? I have all kinds of other Dips (organizing my house, getting a blue belt in BJJ, finishing my next book). That’s the thing about Dips. We get past one and soon? There will be ANOTHER Dip and likely a tougher one. This is why we must learn the PSYCHOLOGY of The Dip.

Dips serve some great purposes:

Dips weed out the uncommitted.

If every person who started writing a novel could be GUARANTEED to be a New York Times Best-Selling Author? They’d likely finish the novel. But it is simply because there ARE NO guarantees that few people ever get published at all. Most give up because they really didn’t LOVE writing.

Dips make us value what we’ve achieved.

Trust me. When I get that ~~black~~ okay, blue belt? I AM WEARING IT EVERYWHERE. I will VACUUM the house in that thing because I worked my tail off for it.

Dips harden us and fire out our character impurities.

I used to make more excuses than I do now. These days? Because of some Dips? I am much more self-disciplined.

Dips train our minds to be formidable. Success in anything is mostly mental.

Some see obstacles and others see opportunities. Dips TRAIN THAT.

Once we learn to recognize The Dips, we know they aren’t permanent. When we realize they aren’t permanent, we can shift our locus of focus to those things we CAN control and CHOOSE to focus on those instead. We learn to be OUTLASTERS. Eventually? We eat Dips for breakfast 😉 .

What are your thoughts? Have you ever been through a DIP? Was it hard not to give up? Are you happy you didn’t? What was on the other side? Are you in a Dip now? I SO am. Which is partly why I am WRITING about Dips.

April 27, 2015